Smiling fondly, I put a hand on her cheek and lean in. Our lips meet in a kiss that shouldn't be so significant, but somehow it is. It takes a moment before she kisses me back, and when we pull away, I realize it. All the times we've been together, it's been behind closed doors. Tucked away in our own little oasis, where no one can see. This, though—it's the first time I've kissed her where I didn't care who could see.
"About damn time," Sav teases.
I look over to see everyone staring at us. Grayson bounces his eyebrows at me, and I laugh as I flip him off. It's not like they don't know we hook up. I mean, it's not exactly a secret. But I guess seeing it is different. Still, now that I've started, I don't want to stop.
Whatever this hold she has over me is, I like it.
I WAKE UP TO Carter shaking my arm. Groaning, I try to shove my head under the pillow, but he pulls it off. At least when I'm sleeping, the pain subsides, and I get to be with Paige. But when I'm awake, it's misery.
"Let me sleep," I whine.
He sits on my bed and forces me to roll over. "I can't. You need to eat something."
"I'm just going to throw it up."
"Then you throw it up," he says as if it's no big deal. "But you need to eat."
Reluctantly, I force myself up and lean my back against the wall. The headache isn't as prominent, but it's definitely still there—lingering in the background and reminding me of the torture I've felt the past few days.
Zayn passes Carter a bowl of chicken noodle soup and a spoon. At first, Carter tries to feed it to me like I'm a baby. I narrow my eyes at him and rip the spoon out of his hands.
"You're feeling better," he laughs and hands me the soup.
I grunt. "I could feel like complete ass and I still wouldn't let you feed me."
"Paige said she was feeding you after we got you home from jail."
Oh, yeah. Rub it in. "That was different. She has tits."
He mocks offense with a hand on his chest. "Nice to know a pair of tits means more to you than I do."
"Yeah, yeah. Stop being a drama queen." I blow on the spoon before taking another bite, happy that it actually tastes good. "And besides, I couldn't move. I had broken ribs, remember?"
Zayn leans his head back against my bed to look at me. "Yeah, what the hell was that about?"
A part of me wonders if I should even tell him. That time of his life is over, and he's happy leaving it in the past. Mentioning that Blade did it as a way to get back at him, or whatever his intentions were, they would send Zayn back to a mental place he's finally gotten himself out of, and I can't do that to him.
I shrug. "They say when you get to prison, you should find the scariest looking guy you can find and punch him right in the face."
"You didn't," Carter and Zayn say in unison.
"No, I didn't," I chuckle. "But I should have. Maybe then I wouldn't have gotten jumped."
IT TAKES A FEW days longer than I thought it would for me to finally feel better, but it finally comes around the tenth day. Carter and I sit on my bed and play video games while my dad has a contractor here fixing the wall we went through.
That whole incident feels like forever ago. My dad was furious at the way I trashed my room, but I think a part of him was just glad I didn't go get myself arrested again. Thinking back on it now, it was intense, but it was necessary.
"Yo, space cowboy," Carter elbows me. "Pay the fuck attention."
I roll my eyes at how serious he is about these damn games. "Sorry, princess."
The nickname doesn't even register until I hear it out loud, and then it instantly burns. The feeling of missing Paige is unlike anything I've felt before. To know I had the best thing to ever happen to me in the palm of my hands, and I fucked it up? It's something I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for, even if I somehow manage to fix it.
Knowing me just as well as I know myself, Carter pauses the game. "You know, you're sober now. You could try calling her."
I could, but I won't. "You saw the look on her face when she left. She was devastated. I won't do that to her again."
"So, you're just giving up?"