He shrugs. "A father can dream, can't he?"
Naming a job for me that requires dreams, ambitions, and drive is something he's done for as long as I can remember. Never has the career mentioned been anything less than the best of whatever field he picks. It's like he's wiring me to believe I'm capable of anything.
If only I was capable of saving him.
I spend a few more minutes with my dad, until he breaks out into another one of his coughing fits. My mom comes in with a glass of water and places his oxygen mask on his face. With as strong of a smile as I can manage, I step out into the hall.
The second I get into the safe confines of my bedroom, I press my back against the door and let the emotions flow, sobs wracking my body. It hurts so much that I can’t take a full breath, and I wonder if this is how my dad feels every second of the day.
He's dying.
The man who loved me first.
The man who dedicated his life to being there for me.
The man who has always motivated me to be the best I can be.
I'm going to lose him, and nothing I say or do is going to change that.
I am living my worst nightmare.
Despite the fact that I'd love nothing more than to crawl under my blanket and disappear from the world, I do exactly what my dad always taught me to—give myself a few minutes to let it out, then pick up the pieces and get back to work.
I WAKE TO THE sound of my phone ringing. The keyboard beneath my face tells me I must have fallen asleep while working on my essay. I rub my forehead, feeling the indents of the keys in my skin, and wince as I grab my phone. Becca's picture smiles at me from the screen.
"Hey Becs," I answer.
"You were sleeping, weren't you?" she accuses.
"If I say no, will you believe me?"
"Not a chance."
"Then yes. I was sleeping."
She snorts. "Paige, it's not even dinner time yet. Your obsession with sleep is a little concerning."
"Now, now. Don't be jealous of me because you can't take naps," I tease.
Knowing her as long as I have, I can picture her throwing her head back as she groans. "It's just not fair. My body will not do it. There is no reason I should be incapable of sleeping during the day."
I chuckle softly. "Don't worry. It's not all it's cracked up to be."
"Yeah, yeah," she says, verbally waving off the topic. "So, how's Papa McAllister doing?"
I sigh, and a part of me wishes I could have just stayed asleep, just for the reprieve from the grief. "I don't know. He says he's fine, but I can see it, Becs. He's fading to nothing right in front of my face. It's so hard to watch."
"I'm so sorr
y. I can't believe this is even happening."
"Yeah. Me either."
Becca makes it a point to check in as much as she can, and I make it a point to only fill her in every once in a while. She's still living her best college life, and she deserves to do that. The last thing I want is for her to waste her time worrying about me, but she does anyway.
The sound of someone in the background echoes through the phone, and I know it's one of the sorority sisters telling her to come with them somewhere. Bec, of course, makes an excuse and whispers for them to go ahead. It weighs heavily on my chest, and I sigh.
"Can we pick this back up later?" I ask. "My mom needs my help with something."