He looks at Carter and me oddly before disappearing into the bedroom. When he comes back out a few minutes later, he murmurs something about going out and leaves without even waiting for Carter to respond.
“See what I mean?” he asks, clearly defeated by the whole thing.
I give him a sympathetic smile. The two of them are as close as Knox and I, and I could only imagine what would be going through my mind if I had to worry about him like this. At least when he was going through shit, I didn't know about it until the very end.
“It's not forever, man,” I tell him. “We'll figure out a way to get him out of this mess.”
But I don't know how reliable my words are. How am I supposed to get someone else out of this when I can't even get out of it myself? I just hope he's not dealing, because that would mean they've got their claws a lot further into him.
I PULL UP TO my place, feeling even worse than I usually do about dealing. Anyone I sell those drugs to, they're someone. A son, a daughter, a friend, a sibling. And I'm playing a part in ruining their life. Granted, I do what I can, like paying for the heroin myself and flushing it instead of giving it to someone, but I can't afford to buy it all.
The one thing I do know is that Easton needs to know the truth. He's still pissed at me, and understandably so. He doesn't know the half of what's going on. When he does, he might be even more angry, being as Amelia is essentially wrapped up in this because of me, but still.
I walk inside to find E sitting on the couch and drinking a beer. His eyes stay trained on the TV. I sigh and go into the kitchen to grab my own. When I get back and sit down next to him, he stands up.
“Sit back down, fucker,” I tell him.
He rolls his eyes, but listens anyway. “Don't tell me what to do.”
I can't help but laugh. “You're a lot more like your sister than you think, you know that?”
That manages to pull a smile out of him. “She's a bit much.”
“Yeah.” You're telling me.
“Is she still hanging out with Blade?” The worry in his voice is off the charts.
I nod slowly. “But I'm doing everything I can.”
He scoffs. “And what exactly can you do? You have nothing to do with him.”
My mouth opens to say something, but nothing comes out. Easton watches me intently before realization spreads across his face.
“Z. You're not.”
I stop him before he can go too crazy with assumptions. “It's not what you think.”
His jaw drops. “After you saw what I went through, you still got involved with him?”
“That's the thing.” I rub the back of my neck. “That's kind of how I ended up in it.”
“What do you mean?”
Fuck. Better to rip the Band-Aid off, right? “He wasn't going to just let you go.”
Shock and sorrow fill his expression. “No. You didn't.” He
stands up. “Tell me you didn't fucking put yourself in my place.”
“What the hell else did you expect me to do? Let you kill yourself?” I argue. “If faced with the same options, I'd do it again.”
He takes a deep breath and runs his fingers through his hair. “How long?”
“Better part of the last year?” I answer with a shrug. “When I went there to tell him you wouldn't be coming around anymore, I left knowing my place.”
“Goddammit, Z,” he groans. “So, that's how you knew Amelia was involved with Blade when we saw them in the courtyard.” I nod. “You didn't like, introduce them, did you?”
My brows furrow. “Is that a serious fucking question? Of course not.”