“You were having a nightmare,” he said flatly. “I tried to wake you up, but all that did was make you fight me more.”
He turned his head, and I noticed an angry red welt along his cheekbone. “Did I do that?” I asked in horror.
“Yup. Should have a pretty good shiner in a few days.” He moved to the edge of bed and took a seat. “Don’t worry about me, Linden. How’s your hand?”
“Hurts.” I’d only had one of Mia’s cocktails, knowing I was going to need some painkillers if I had any hopes of sleeping through the night. “What time is it?”
He got up off the mattress and went to the bedside table to grab his cell phone. “A little after four. We might as well get up.”
I nodded but didn’t make a move.
“What?” Boxer asked. “What is it?”
I bit my lip. “You can back out, you know?”
“Back out of what?”
“Marrying me.”
“Ah, shit, woman,” he muttered. He wrapped me in his embrace and gently pulled me into him. He brushed his lips across my forehead. “If you think a punch to the face or a nightmare is enough to scare me off, then you don’t know me at all.”
“It’s more than that, and you know it,” I murmured.
“I’m not going anywhere, darlin’. I don’t know if you’ll ever believe me. But if my ring is on your finger and my last name is yours, then maybe you’ll start to trust it. Trust us.”
I sighed and lifted my mouth to his. He gently covered my lips, and I sank into the feel of him. In the feel of us.
I trusted this aspect of our relationship. Why couldn’t I trust the emotional aspect of it too?
I got dressed in a sundress and matching cardigan that Joni and Mia had packed for me, and then Boxer and I went downstairs.
Darcy was already awake, and the coffee maker was on, gurgling and wafting the bold aroma of coffee through the kitchen and living room.
“I didn’t know you were an early riser,” I said to her.
Every time I’d seen her, her hair had been done and her makeup had been in place. But this morning, she was dressed casually in a pair of jeans, a black T-shirt, her face scrubbed clean.
“She’s not,” Gray said, coming up behind his Old Lady and wrapping her in his arms. Darcy leaned back against him and tilted her face up to his for a kiss. He obliged her. “She takes forever to wake up, usually.”
“Then why—oh,” I said in realization, heat coloring my cheeks. “You heard me.”
“Yeah,” Darcy said without any hesitation. “We heard you.”
“Sorry,” I mumbled.
“Hey, don’t do that,” Gray said. “Don’t apologize. You’re dealing with your shit. It’s okay.”
Boxer pulled me into his side. I buried my face against him, wishing my trauma wasn’t so vocal. Wishing everyone didn’t know about it, even though hiding away from it wouldn’t do me any good, anyway.
By five thirty in the morning, everyone was awake except for the children. People kept shooting me loaded looks, and it became too much. I took my cup of coffee out back, ducking my head and refusing to meet penetrating gazes.
I sat in a camp chair near the bonfire that had long since burned out.
The screen door opened and then creaked shut. I didn’t turn, expecting it to be Boxer or Mia. I couldn’t contain my surprise when I saw it was Reap. He plopped down in the chair next to me, a mug of coffee in his hand.
“Mind if I smoke?” he asked.
“Yes.”