My joke fell flat, and no one laughed.
Joni looked at Mia. “You should tell her.”
“Tell me what?” I asked.
“Did Boxer ever tell you about me?” Mia queried. “I mean, how I came to be an Old Lady?”
Hearing his name out loud had my insides stuttering like a flooded engine. I was still so angry at him, and I wasn’t sure the anger was going to go away.
But I missed him.
That wasn’t going away, either.
“He told me you were involved in some bad shit last year,” I admitted, meeting Mia’s pensive gaze. “But he didn’t give me details.”
“My boss got into trouble, and I got dragged into it,” she explained. “And I brought it to the Blue Angels’ front door. And instead of turning me away and making it someone else’s problem, they took me in. Not just Colt, butallof them. And when my world fell apart, and trust me, it sure as hell did”—her smile wobbled— “they were there to help me pick up the pieces. My new family helped me keep moving forward in life. And that’s exactly what we’re going to do for you.”
She stole a hand across her expanded belly. “I’m an Old Lady, but I didn’t grow up in this world. I didn’t even know what being an Old Lady really meant. But it wasn’t until the chips were down and the club was there that I realized the loyalty they spout on about isn’t bullshit. I know there are things you can’t tell us, things you know that we aren’t supposed to know, and it’s okay. We’re still here for you.”
“How do you know that?” I inquired.
“They told us,” Allison voiced. “They said you got involved fast and hard because you’re a doctor, and you got pulled into something they normally don’t include us in.”
“It’s why we’re not pressing you to talk,” Darcy said. “We respect the club’s boundaries.”
“Screw the boundaries,” I said. “You guys deserve to know what’s going on. For your own safety.”
“That’s not what’s important right now,” Mia interjected. “We can discuss that with the men later. This, right now, is about you. We love you. We love who you were before this happened, and we love who you’ll become because of this. You don’t have to hide, Linden. If you want to fall apart, go ahead. We can help you put yourself back together.”
Mia was close enough to touch me, and she stroked her finger down my left pinky.
“You should throw more shit at Boxer,” Rachel suggested. “It might help.”
“Next time, use something with a bit more heft to it. A plastic cup ain’t gonna cut it,” Joni said.
“I should’ve known you guys would find out about that,” I said in amusement. “There are no secrets in this family, are there?”
“Not when one of us is hurting,” Darcy said. “And darlin’, you’re hurting bad.”
I bowed my head.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Allison asked. “Has anyone actually asked you that? Has anyone asked you if you want to open up?”
I hadn’t spoken of anything specific. I was tired of the secrecy, though. Were they strong enough to handle the truth? I believed they were. But as angry as I was at Boxer, it felt like a betrayal telling the Old Ladies before telling him. And since this was club business and connected to a cartel, I really did need to speak to him first.
“I think I have to talk to Boxer,” I said slowly.
Part of me envied them. They were left in the dark. They were left not knowing about everything going on around them. But was ignorance truly bliss? Was it fair to make them sitting ducks? Waiting for someone to pluck out their feathers and roast them until they were charred? How could they protect their families and children if they didn’t know what was going on right in their own backyard?
This was truly a matter of life and death.
The Old Ladies cleaned up, chucking plasticware and paper plates into the garbage. Darcy put all her haircutting instruments back into her bag and then hoisted it to her shoulder.
“I think you really rock the short hair, babe.” Darcy smiled. “And I think it’ll match your new affinity for leather pants.”
I smiled. “Yeah. I’m calling it Biker Chic.”
“Have you met Laura yet?” Rachel asked.