Reclaiming it through the camera was one of the things that saved me. I knew my body now in ways I’d never known it before. I knew what I liked about myself and, most importantly, I felt ready to explore it with real partners now.
My sex drive had increased tenfold as well, and I was ready to cross that bridge. Somewhere in my mind, I think I hoped Maddox would show up again and stop me, lurking in the shadows as he did, even though a more significant part of me knew he wasn’t here, something keeping him from me this time.
My phone vibrated as I locked up, and I jogged down the steps as best as I could in cowboy boots. One day I’d learn to wear better footwear, but tonight wasn’t that night. I was going with girlie today in a simple pink dress and brown boots. The dress was thin, helping me not die in the summer heat.
Stepping out into the sun, I waved at Candi as I hurried to her car. We were headed to an outdoor country music festival she’d snagged us tickets to.
“Hey, girlfriend!” she said, smiling over at me.
“Hey! You look great! I love your look.” She had on a denim skirt and a gingham style shirt she’d tied at the waist, along with hot pink cowboy boots and a matching hat.
“I’m hoping to snag me a cowboy! Howdy!” Candi exclaimed, making a roping motion with her arm.
“As long as he’s hot, I don’t care what he does.”
Laughing, we took off, cranking up the radio as we sang along to it. When I thought about the girl I was a year and a half ago, I didn’t even recognize myself, and for that, I was glad.
“So, you’re gonna do it, huh?” she asked, pulling into the field we were directed to park in.
“Hook up?” I asked.
“Yeah. I know you don’t normally do it.”
“I’m ready.” I hadn’t told Candi all of my history, but she’d picked up things from observation.
“I’m happy for you, Darce. Bout time you got laid.”
“Hey! I was making sure I was ready, and now, I’m ready.”
“As your good friend, then I must help you find the perfect guy to bone.”
“Bone? What, are you eight?” We got out of the car, laughing as we began the trek toward the music. Linking arms together, we followed the others, looking around at everyone.
“Oh, what about that one?” she said, pointing at a blond guy.
“Eh, too skinny.”
“Okay, what about that one?”
I shook my head immediately. “No, too frat boy.”
“Ugh. Too picky. What’s your type then?”
“Hmm, well, I do have a thing for guys on motorcycles. Tattoos. Muscles.”
“Ooooh, Darcie likes the bad boys.”
“I do not!” I slapped her, laughing. Though, maybe I did.
“If he’s just to mess around with, though, I guess he just needs to not smell, have his teeth, and be bigger than me. I don’t want a guy who I’ll feel like will break if he tries to pick me up.”
“You want a man that can throw you around, huh?”
Giggling, I shrugged. I hadn’t meant to describe Maddox, but she had a point. I kind of did like that.
We showed our tickets on our phones, and they gave us wrist bracelets, dictating what sections we could get into. Candi’s connection had gotten us VIP tickets, giving us special admittance. Most of the groups playing I wasn’t familiar with, but live music was always fun, and I was excited to hear all that was on offer.
Together, we headed back to the area her friend was in. Candi pointed out guys along the way she thought I might want to bone. Every time she said bone, I’d bust out laughing, shaking my head, and the guy would look at me like I was deranged. Some wing-woman she was.