“What don’t you want him to know? Was that not consensual?” he asked, his tone changing as he stepped forward. His fist unclenched and re-clenched as he stared at me.
“Just let it go, okay? I’m fine.”
I stood, picked up my pool cover-up, and placed it over my head. I ignored how close we stood and how good his skin felt when I brushed my arm against his. I ignored how better it felt compared to Chase. I most definitely ignored the way his eyes zeroed in on my chest or how he seemed to suck in a breath as I brushed past.
Yeah, I was good at ignoring things.
Too bad things weren’t good at ignoring me.
Diary #1
Dear Mom,
Chase finally arrived today, and he flirted with me. It was weird because it was something I’d wanted for so long, but it didn’t feel the way I thought it would when it happened.
Maybe it’s just because I’m not used to it? Boys paying attention to me? I kept waiting for the punchline.
In the end, Maddox interrupted, and I was both grateful and angry he did. At times, he infuriates me, and I wish he’d butt out of things. I’m not a little girl anymore. In fact, being a graduate of MCD means I can take care of myself.
I wish you were here. I miss you every day.
Darcie
Two
DARCIE
The food I’d been playing with slid off my fork, and I wondered how long I’d have to sit through this dinner. It wasn’t that I didn’t enjoy being part of the business side of things now, but if I had to listen to Stanley “Agonizer” Driscoll talk about how great he was at golf for another minute, I was likely to explode. We were an MC, not a country club! At least he was staying true to his name. I was definitely in agony.
Looking around the room, I took in the bored looks of my father’s most trusted men and felt somewhat relieved. Their bearded and sun-worn faces were just as bored as mine. I was starting to wonder what type of club the Diamonds were. Based on this steak dinner with actual napkins, I was getting the picture that it was a lot fancier than ours.
I met Tiny’s eyes as I scanned the room, holding in a laugh as he rolled his. He mimed Agonizer droning on, and I couldn’t stop myself from letting the sound slip that time.
“Something you’d like to share?” Agonizer asked, the room turning to look at me. I met my father’s stare and swallowed; the disappointment reflected there was hard to take.
“Sorry, sir. I just remembered a joke.” He sat back, scanning me. I watched as his eyes lit up as he took in my curves. I hadn’t worn anything scandalous tonight, but the way his eyes drifted over my breasts, you’d think I was sitting here topless. I didn’t like the way it made me feel, and my father’s insistence on waiting until I was thirty to have sex didn’t sound so bad right then.
Okay, maybe that was stretching it, but if men looked at me like Agonizer was, then I didn’t want anything to do with it. I’d happily remain a virgin at this rate.
“I’d like to hear it.” He smirked, calling my bluff.
I gulped, looking over at my father. His eyes were hard, jaw clenched tight, and I looked for some confirmation this was what he wanted me to do. He gave an imperceptible nod, and I glanced back at the man I was beginning to fear. He hadn’t been like this before toward me, but apparently, acquiring boobs meant I had a neon sign for every perv to try their hand.
“What do you call a cow with no legs?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. It didn’t matter because it was so quiet in the room, someone could’ve heard it a room over.
“What?” he asked, smiling, his eyes filled with something I couldn’t identify.
“Um, ground beef.”
No one laughed, waiting to see how they should behave from the Agonizer. When had he gained so much power? It was like looking at a different man. Before, I’d always thought he and my father were equal. He reigned over the Alabama clubs and my father, the Mississippi. Based on his clothes, his attitude, and the way everyone deferred to him right now, I had to assume that had changed.
My father was no longer the scariest man in the room, and for some reason, that terrified me the most.
After a quiet few seconds, he let out a loud, boisterous laugh, slapping the table and causing me to jump as the dishes clattered. He pointed at me, smiling, though I didn’t believe it was natural for one second.
“You’re funny.” The smile dropped off and he sat forward. “That’s gonna have to go when you come to my club. We like our women meek and silent.” His eyes changed, turning to slits as he stared at me, and I struggled to put words together.
His place. Meek. Silent. His place.