“Is it ever going to be a good idea?”
“I . . . um . . . I don’t know.” Addie replied flatly.
“You know what I think, Addison? I think you have no intention of taking things any further than they are right now. That’s why I brought you here. That’s why I fucked you the way I just did. Because if this is the way you want it, then you need to just say so. But first, you should know that I love you. I want to be with you. I want more. I want to take care of you. You just have to let me.”
A thousand thoughts ran through her head; she couldn’t keep up. He wants more? More than this? What would happen if she let her guard down? If she allowed herself to feel something towards him? In that moment, it was all too much. So Addison did the only thing she knew to do to protect herself. She shrugged her shoulders, kept a straight face and lied. “This is the way I want it.”
Later that evening, Addie arrived home exhausted. She had agreed to a late session with Sondra and a client in a few hours but wanted to see the boys and shower first. Addie froze as she shut the door behind her. Patrick was sitting on the couch as though he’d never left. He glanced at the clock on the wall. “You’re late.”
Her stomach sank. “What are you doing home?” Addie strained her neck towards the kitchen. “Where are the boys?”
Patrick stood and walked over to her. Addie stepped back instinctively.
“Well, nice to see you, too.” Patrick said, leaning in for a kiss.
“I’m sorry. But why don’t you start by telling me what’s going on?” Addie hissed, turning her cheek.
He grabbed her as she tried to move away and pulled her close, his breath hot on her neck. “I guess I could ask you the same.”
Addie pushed against his chest. Hard. “Where are the kids, Patrick?”
He put his hands up in surrender. “Relax. They’re with my mom. She picked me up at the airport and wanted to give us some time.”
Addie eyed him skeptically. “Time for what?”
Patrick sat back down on the sofa and kicked his feet up. “I don’t know. Time to get reacquainted.”
“What are you doing home?” Addie rubbed her temples.
“My mother called, and you haven’t been answering my calls recently. I needed to see that you’re ok.” Patrick leaned back, folding his hands behind his head, taking her in. “And my God, Addie, are you ever ok. You’re fucking amazing. So tell me what in the hell have you been up to? Because whatever it is, it sure looks good on you.”
Addie didn’t miss a beat. “I finally wised up and hired a trainer and a chef. You know—job perks,” she added, served up with a go-fuck-yourself smile.
Fourteen
With Patrick home, Addie was going crazy trying to manage the web of lies that she had spun. She had to be extra careful, knowing that her mother-in-law thought something was up and called Patrick home. Patrick didn’t exactly say as much, only that he missed her and the kids and wanted a break. But she knew better. Penny Greyer loved to stir up shit, especially where Addie was concerned.
Sondra had been furious when Addie had to cancel on her the other night, but after seeing that Addie still intended to see the deal through, Sondra relented and together they concocted a plan. Addie’s assistant would arrive each morning and go over her schedule with her, making sure that Patrick was within earshot. She and Sondra would then have a conference call to discuss the day’s events, again within earshot of her husband. As horrible as Addie felt about deceiving Patrick this way, she knew it was only short term and that they’d be better for it in the end. So far, so good. Her plan seemed to be working.
Of course, it helped that she and Patrick had rekindled things, calling an unspoken truce. He couldn’t keep his hands off of her, and Addie found herself enjoying having him home, especially given how happy the boys were.
But all of the lying and the covering up meant that she had absolutely no energy or attention to give William or his emails. She’d texted him, letting him know that Patrick was home, and he’d responded with an email which Addie couldn’t bring herself to open. After their last exchange at The W, she felt that something had broken, and she wasn’t sure how to put it back together. Worse yet, she wasn’t sure whether or not it was even possible to do so.
On the fourth day, Addie found William in her office, sitting at her desk. She wasn’t all that surprised to see him sitting there. It took a moment for him to look up, and Addie was confused, certain he’d heard her, until she noticed what he was holding: her family photo.
Addie watched the way he studied it as she made her way over to the desk and perched herself on the side of it. She stared at William intently but said nothing.
William cleared his throat. “I’ve never walked away from anything before. If I wanted it, that is. But I’m willing to do it . . . for you.”
He placed the picture back in its place and held his gaze on it. “I’m willing to do it for them.”
Addie reached for his hand and curled his fingers in hers. “I’m sorry, William. It’s just that the timing for us is all sorts of wrong.”
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His voice deepened. “Don’t bullshit me, Addison. That’s the one thing I ask. Give it to me straight. I’ve played this game myself, too many times to count, so I know it when I see it. Don’t toy with me.”
Addie’s hand recoiled. “I’m not toying with you, and I’m not sure what it is exactly that you’re asking, but I’m pretty sure it’s more than I can give.”