“Can I take you home?”
I thought about it, and then shook my head. “I’m too close to home, and the ride will be good for me.”
“Okay, if that is what you want.”
“It is,” I said.
“Will you be at work tomorrow, or are you going to be up here for the life-guarding job?”
“I’ll be at work.” I hadn’t realized I’d made my decision until I said it aloud.
* * *
Chapter Eleven
I lost count of the times I’d attempted to talk myself out of returning to the Stone mansion. I kept reminding myself we needed the money, and I would not act like Jessica. I did not run away from life. I faced my problems and dealt with them. I could be stronger than a broken heart. Foolishly, I gave my heart away to someone who didn’t need it, or expect it. It was my fault, and my fault alone. However, I would not continue to do so. Lesson learned. I learned a long time ago not to make the same mistake twice. I opened the kitchen door, and Ms. Mary turned to look at me. Relief washed over her face. She must have worried I wouldn’t come back. Her expression, and the fact I would have been missed, made my returning worth it.
“Morning, Ms. Mary.” I glanced over at the table expecting it to be empty, and I froze in place at the sight of Jax, sitting in his usual spot. A concerned frown wrinkled his forehead.
I nodded a silent “hello” and forced myself to face Ms. Mary. “If it is all the same to you, I would like to get an early start on the garden this morning. Can I come back later to help you with the food prep?”
Ms. Mary cleared her throat. She seemed a little unsure and finally managed to nod. “Mr. Greg will be happy to see you so early.”
I went straight to the laundry and changed. I couldn’t deal with him this morning. I needed time. Besides, I needed to work and didn’t have time to talk. My uniform would be cleaned and pressed, hanging in the closet with all the others. I sifted through until I found mine. Yesterday, when I’d been doing this exact same thing, my heart had been racing wildly, knowing Jax would be waiting on me. So much could happen in a day. My heart broke a little more, and I shook my head to clear my thoughts. I could not keep going like this. I needed to find some form of control over my emotions. Why was it when I finally fell in love, I had to choose a teen idol. Couldn’t I be like normal girls and fall in love with a guy from school? Or a guy from work? Take Marcus, for example. Why did my heart have to do the tango for Jax, but not even skip a beat for Marcus? I growled in frustration at my own stupidity. I would find a way to get over this. I buttoned up my shirt and took one more deep calming breath, just in case Jax still sat in the kitchen.
When I opened the door to the laundry room and stepped out, Jax blocked my way. I should have expected him to follow me. Jax Stone didn’t get blown off by a girl. This couldn’t be something he knew how to handle. I sighed, knowing I couldn’t get through without him letting me by, so I backed up to put some distance between us.
“Sadie, please, come talk to me.”
“I need to get to work.”
He reached out for my hand, and I immediately snatched it back and pocketed both of my hands.
“Sadie, please.”
I hated the insecure, little boy I saw in his eyes and the fact it got to me. Dang it. “There is nothing to talk about, Jax. I work here, we are friends, I guess, and you spent some extra time with me. Your girlfriend is here. No big deal. Now, if you will move.”
He took my arms and gently, but firmly, pushed me back into the laundry room and closed the door behind him.
“What are you doing?” I asked when I realized he’d locked us in.
“We need to get a few things clear, and I can’t let you go to work until I know you understand.”
I hated the way he acted as if I needed to be reminded of reality. I stiffened and turned to glare out the window.
“Do you remember when I told you I have to get my picture taken with every female teen star in the vicinity for publicity?”
I didn’t turn or acknowledge his words.
He sighed. “I know you do. Anyway, Star and I have been thrown together since we were fifteen. She is the female me in the teen world, and people like to dream up romances between us. Because we have both spent our teen years in front of the camera, we have become friends.”
Nausea boiled inside me. I didn’t need a reminder that Star would be a much better match for him.
“But friends is all we have ever been. I’m not going to lie because, in the beginning, we did try out a relationship. It seemed natural for us, but it failed miserably. We were able to call it quits and remain friends. I didn’t know she was coming yesterday. She has been in love with a boy from her hometown for years. They have struggled to make things work, but, with her lifestyle, they never had enough time together. She just found out he is getting married next week. He got a girl pregnant, and Star is torn up about it. So she came here to see me. She needed a friend.”
He stopped talking, and I knew I needed to turn around and respond. I just wasn’t sure how, without acting like the hopelessly lovesick idiot I’d become. I took a deep breath and exhaled, hoping to calm my emotions, and turned around.
“You didn’t have to explain anything to me. I’ve known all along you live in a world I know nothing about, nor will I ever know anything about. Even if she is your girlfriend, the only thing you would have been guilty of is kissing someone else. You don’t owe me an explanation. I am just someone you spent time with for a couple of weeks one summer.” I forced a smile and nodded my head toward the door. “Now we have all this cleared up, I need to get to work.”
I stepped toward the exit, and Jax’s hand shot out and grabbed my arm. I closed my eyes and waited for him to speak.
“You think you’re just someone I spent time with?”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. He looked at me incredulously, and I wasn’t sure what to say. I returned his stare. He seemed angry and hurt. I hated knowing I’d hurt him.
“What am I, then, Jax?” I heard myself whisper. “How can I ever be more than that?”
He pulled me up close to him. “You have been more than that since the night I took you home. You want to know what you are?” He took my hand and placed it over his heart. “You’re the person who owns this.”
Tears stung my eyes. “I don’t want to love you,” I forced out through the thickness in my throat.
“God, I hope you do, because you own me completely,” he whispered, and then leaned down and kissed me with such emotion the tears escaped and slid down my face. He held my face as he kissed me, until my knees went weak, and I held on to his arms to keep from falling. When he broke the kiss, he didn’t let me go, thankfully, because, without his support, I would not have had the strength to stand.
“I should have come and told you, but she kept crying and going on and on over everything they had been through. She needed an ear, and I gave her one. I knew when I came to get you last night and you were gone, I’d screwed up. Promise me you won’t ever ride home by yourself again. I sat in your driveway last night after I made sure your bike was there and watched the windows for a long time, wondering which one was yours. If I’d have known, I would have come to you then, but I didn’t want to wake your mom.” He tucked a curl behind my ear, and I shivered at his touch. “I’m trying to make myself let you go before Ms. Mary comes to get you, but you go and shiver at my touch and weaken my resolve to stop holding you.”
He laid my head against his chest, and I smiled. He loved me. I knew heartache would be inevitable when he left, but I knew he loved me.
I waited on Jax out in the gazebo after work. I’d promised Amanda I’d come to the party with her tonight. She sent a message through Marcus as to where to meet her and what time. I’d forgotten until he reminded me. I needed to talk to Jax about it, because if he wanted to do something with me, I would need to cancel my prior plans. Now, I wished I hadn’t accepted Amanda’s invitation, but she seemed so excited about introducing me to people.
“Why the frown, gorgeous?” Jax stepped into the gazebo and came to sit by me.
“I didn’t realize I was frowning. I’m just thinking.”
“About?”
I sighed. “I’ve been invited to a party at a guy’s house, from school. Marcus’s younger sister, Amanda, is in my grade, and she invited me to come with her. I told her yes, but it was last night when I left early because of Star.”
He leaned back and put his arm behind me. “Well, would you be against going to the party with a date?”
I stiffened. “A date?”
He smiled. “Yes, unless you’re ashamed to be seen with me in public.”
I didn’t know what he meant. Surely, he couldn’t mean he would go as himself. “You mean, you want to go to a party?”
He nodded. “Yes, I think I do.”
I frowned and decided to point out the obvious. “You’re aware these people are going to flip out over you, right?”
He shrugged. “Probably at first, but I figure they will get over the initial shock and leave us alone.”
“I can cancel.”
He shook his head, sat up, and turned toward me. “I’m going for a selfish reason. I want them to know you’re mine.”
“Okay, but what purpose does this serve, except to make me the envy of every female in town?”
He grinned. “It will let the male population know you’re not available and to stay away.”
I laughed. “All right then, ‘Mr. Hot Shot Rock Star’, let’s go to the party so you can intimidate all the guys in a fifty mile radius.”
* * * *
We stopped at my house so I could run inside and change clothes. Apparently, the dress code was swimsuits. I slipped a black see-through cover up over my bikini, a pair of black heeled sandals on my feet, and let my hair down to its wild, natural, curly mess. For the first time in my life, I could be accused of being vain, and I knew it, but I wanted to look worthy of Jax tonight. I put on some red lipstick, mascara, and then stood back and appraised myself. My reflection surprised me. The black mascara really made my already dark lashes stand out. I went into the living room to tell Jessica “bye.” She stopped watching her reality television show and looked me up and down, and then broke out into a smile.
“You can thank me for those good genes you’ve decided to flaunt tonight.”
I rolled my eyes. “I’ll be late.”
She waved me off. “Be careful and all that stuff.”
I sighed and headed for the door. She hadn’t even asked me whom I’d dressed up for. Most girls my age wished their mothers would leave them alone, and I wished mine would just care. I grabbed my purse and headed back out to Jax and his Hummer. I’d left him outside for fear Jessica would be parading around in her underwear. He stepped away from the Hummer, and his gaze took me in. I’m glad I put the heels on because I knew it helped make my long legs seem less lanky.
He let out a low whistle. “Wow, you’re incredible.”
I smiled and blushed. “Thank you,” I replied.
He frowned. “Now, could you go back inside and make yourself less sexy?”
“What?”
He sighed. “You were worried about me attracting attention, and you’ve gone in there and unleashed all your deadly weapons.” His gaze skimmed my legs again. “Damn, Sadie, I’m going to have a hard time with self-control tonight, and I swear if I catch one guy ogling you, he is going to be able to tell the world he got his ass kicked by Jax Stone.”
I laughed out loud and rolled my eyes. “You’re a little biased.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Do you have mirrors in your apartment?”
I nodded.
“Did you use any of them, or did you manage to become every guy’s fantasy without any visual help?”
I stepped around him. “You’re overreacting, now come on, and let’s go.”
His arms slid around my waist as he pulled me up against his chest. He buried his face in my neck and groaned. “You smell heavenly.”
I smiled and leaned back against him. “Thank you.”
He kissed my neck and nibbled on my ear. My knees went weak, and chill bumps broke out on my body.
“Jax,” I whispered, “if you keep this up, you’re going to have to put me in the Hummer. I am only so strong.”
He chuckled against my neck, opened the door, and set me in my seat. He gave me one last smile, which sent shivers through my body, and then closed the door. I’d never really felt sexy before, but tonight I did. I knew it was because of him. Just maybe our being together would be believable. But I doubted it, seriously.