I’m not so sure he will like this and I grab a pillow, hugging it.
“Gina was pretty worried about what happened tonight,” I say slowly. “Hysterical almost. She begged me to sleep over at her house and I’m thinking I should, just to calm her down...”
I trail off when Stan freezes and I inspect him a little closer. He’s not blinking and it seems as if time has stopped. I’m not even sure his heart is still beating. He doesn’t even act like he has a pulse anymore and it worries me.
“Stan?”
His mouth moves but his eyes are still immoveable. “You said there wasn’t a wedge.”
The energy around him is rancorous, making my body quake. I take his hand but it doesn’t seem to help. He’s definitely not taking this well, making me regret I even said anything in the first place.
“There isn’t. It’s just over the night, I’d be back in the morning.”
The words do nothing to assure him and the skin over his handsome features tightens, his mouth moving in a scorn.
“In a house without me? In a house where Gina’s husband lives?”
Lifting his head, his face moves in a grimace, the veins on his neck protruding and he looks like he’s in deep agony.
“What is going on with you?” I say. I ask that because he’s gone ashen in the face, his whole body trembling painstakingly.
“Is this your way of trying to escape me. Because I fucked up? Because I made a mistake? Because you can’t handle anything else than a white knight in a shining armor?”
“What...no...ah!” I let out a choked shriek when a deep convulsion goes through his body, his eyes glazing over. “Stan, please sit down.” He allows me to pull him down and I move to the floor, crouching by his legs.
His fists are clenching on his knees, his skin is clammy to my touch and the shaking in his body increases so much, that it’s freaking me out.
“Stan,” I say, turning teary, “please I’m not trying to escape you. Don’t do this to yourself.”
But it’s like he can’t control it, his body seeming to shoot with too much adrenaline and I raise my hand, stroking his jawline. His reaction is so strong that it takes him a while to realize that I’m touching him.
“I’m all yours. Always. I’ll always be yours.” I lick my lips. “No matter what.”
“No matter what?” he asks with a clenched teeth and I nod frantically. “Even when it’s not picture-perfect?”
Swallowing I nod again, stroking his arm, waiting for his tremors to disappear and when they finally do, I draw a sigh of relief. His reaction was so powerful. I’ve never seen anything like it. It looked like he was being torn up from the inside.
My heart breaks for him. Is that how intensely he feels about me? On that level?
“I don’t want you to be against me,” he says in a raspy voice, his eyes carefully going to mine. “Or us.”
“I’m not against you,” I whisper, “or us.”
He nods brushing his hair away from his face, inhaling deeply and tries a smile but it comes out crooked. “I should probably go have a shower. Cool down.”
“Okay,” I murmur, my mind spinning and I feel a little raw. His reaction seems to have been burned into my mind and my heart doesn’t feel like it’s my heart anymore.
It’s his. Every part of it and I already know it might be a dangerous thing to hand it over to someone like Stan. But I can’t help it. It’s already too late.
10
Stanmore
I don’t go and shower like I said I would. I don’t even move all the way up the staircase, instead I stay in the shadows, watching Amber.Do I trust her? Yes. Do I trust her completely? Not just yet.
But I will once I know that I fully have her. Once I know that there are no walls between us.
My eyes tighten when she twitchingly looks around and I expect her to reach for her phone, call that irritating manager of hers. Or her brother dearest. But she doesn’t. Instead she hooks her fingers into her cleavage and takes off her gown, standing only in a satiny slip that came with the dress.