“I hate seeing you like this,” she whispers. “Stop blaming yourself. This is no one’s fault. You heard the nurse, one in five pregnancies end like this. It’s just one of those things.” Her voice cracks at the end, making pain shoot through my heart as if someone’s just shot me.
“Stop,” I snap. “Just fucking stop.” I hate that she knows exactly how I’m feeling without me having to say anything to her.
“Cole, we need to—”
“No,” I bellow. “We don’t need to do fucking anything. It’s done. It’s ruined. It’s fucking dead.”
Finally, as the traffic slows to a stop, I turn to look at her.
Her eyes are red-rimmed from crying, and they only fill with more tears as she looks at me. “W-what are you saying, exactly?”
I blow out a breath, trying to figure out what I need to say, what I should be thinking right now, but I can’t get a grasp on anything. All I feel is pain, grief, despair.
“I’m taking you back to the dorms.”
“What?”
“I… I just can’t right now.”
“Cole, please,” her voice quivers, “I need you.”
“Yeah, well. I don’t need you. Call Remi or something.” Her gasp of shock rings throughout the car, but I refuse to take the words back.
All of this, everything Hadley has been through over the past few weeks, is all my fault. It’s finally time I do the right thing.
The tension in the car is unbearable by the time I pull up at the front of her building.
“Please don’t do this, Cole. Just come up. We don’t have to talk, I just need—”
“I don’t give a shit what you need. Just go.”
My grip tightens on the wheel, my knuckles turning white. I focus on them instead of Hadley’s shaky breathing as she tries to decide what to do.
She wants to push me, I know she does. But equally, she knows me better than anyone and she knows I’m not going to bend right now, no matter how much she might beg me.
“Okay,” she finally whispers. “You know…” she trails off, clearly changing her mind about what she feels she needs to say to me. Instead, when she speaks again, her voice is harder, like she’s found some strength. “Thank you. For everything.”
Without another word, she pushes the door open, grabs her bag from the trunk and walks into her building without so much as a glance back in my direction.
“FUUUUUCK,” I shout the second she’s out of my sight, my palm raining fury down on the wheel before me.
My head falls back against the headrest as I scream out my frustration.
Movement at the building's stairwell window catches my eye. Knowing she’s watching me, I throw the car into drive and speed away from her. My heart shatters even more the farther I get.
I abandon the car in front of James’ house. I don’t even remember if I kill the engine, I just step out and walk away.
Forgoing the house, I make the pool house my first port of call, hoping that Remi is going to be inside.
Ripping the door open, I find the living area empty. Not thinking, I march straight to the bedroom and fling the door wide open. “Fuck,” I bark, finding my brother’s naked ass staring right at me.
“Fucking hell, Cole,” he snaps, scrambling to cover the two of them. It’s not necessary, my vision is blurry and dark. I’m barely seeing anything right now.
“Remi, you need to go to Hadley. Now.”
“Why? What’s wrong?” she asks, sitting up so she can see me over Ace’s shoulder. “Shit,” she gasps when her eyes land on me.
“She needs you. You need to…” I trail off, my voice cracking, knowing that I can’t be the one to comfort her right now, or ever.