“Which might as well be code for everything is not fine.” She frowns. “Who do I need to hurt?”
I smile at that. Remi’s loyalty and friendship is one of the only good things about being here. Back in Gravestone, I’d struggled to make friends. Kids were always too intimidated by my family’s reputation. They either kept a wide berth or tried to befriend me and use me as a stepping stone to get to my parents.
It was nice to have a real friend. A girl friend I can trust and talk to, unlike the shallow, fake girls on the squad.
“I just needed some space,” I admit, going back to my bed and flopping down on it. “Twizzler?” Grabbing the pack, I throw it at her. Remi catches it, pulling out a stick.
“How was the party?”
There’s a hint of suspicion in her voice, but I school my expression.
“It was fine. Same shit, different day.”
“So the fact that you’ve spent all weekend locked in your dorm room has nothing to do with Marissa Farrow and Cole hooking up?”
“He said that?” I swallow the rush of emotion.
“Cole?” she balks. “No way. He’s barely said two words. But Marissa posted a not so vague status on social media, going on about how she bagged the most eligible player on the team.”
“Ugh,” I grumble, ignoring the cinch around my heart.
“So you knew?”
“I saw them looking cozy, yeah.”
“And that didn’t bother you?”
“If you want to ask me something, Remi, just spit it out.”
She lets out a heavy sigh. “Did something happen between the two of you? Because you’re here moping and Cole’s been like a bear with a sore head all fucking weekend.”
“Cole and I have decided to keep our distance,” I say, choosing not to tell her the truth.
It won’t do any good. Remi has warned me off Cole enough times, and I don’t want to tarnish our friendship for no reason.
“Hads, come on, this is me,” she says, seeing past my ruse. “Just because I’m with Ace and live with them, it doesn’t mean I’m not on your side.”
“I know.” I force a smile. “You were right, it’s probably better I stay away from him. It’s senior year and I need to focus on the future.”
If I want to be free of my parents, I need to secure a scholarship. I have a trust fund that is mine once I graduate, but I want to be independent of them.
I want to cut them out of my life the way they so easily cut me out of theirs.
“Okay.” She eyes me with mild curiosity. “So long as you know you can always talk to me. About anything.”
Remi doesn’t push for my story, she never does. Part of me wants to tell her, to purge myself of the pain and heartache I carry inside me like a cancer, but every time I go to say the words, they die on my tongue.
I’m not ready.
I might never be ready.
For now, I’ll keep my secrets close, letting them fester inside me, poisoning my blood—my soul—with their toxicity.
Cole wasn’t wrong when he said I was broken.
I am; I’m full of jagged parts and missing pieces.
It's why I want to fix him. Because maybe if I can figure out how to fix another lost soul...