I practically provoked him into it.
Although I’m pretty certain he would have taken what he wanted with or without my encouragement.
“So that’s it, huh?”
“What did you think would happen?” He glances over his shoulder at me, eyes hard, stone mask firmly back in place.
Another shiver trickles down my spine. Cole looks at me like he doesn’t know whether he’s going to kill me with his bare hands or fuck the air from my lungs.
I guess we already did the second, which means I should probably get out of here before he decides to up the ante.
“Get dressed, Hadley,” he says with quiet resignation. Hearing him so defeated does something to my chest, and I rub my breastbone involuntarily.
“What really happened with Marissa, Cole?” I hate that I’m asking, but I need to know what to expect when I see her.
“I didn
’t fuck her. I didn’t even—” He stops himself. “Marissa is no one.”
But am I? I want to ask, but I don’t. Because I know the answer. No matter what this thing between us is, Cole won’t give in.
And I already trusted my heart to someone once before. I won’t do it again. Not until they’ve earned it.
“I think we should have some space.” I say the words before I even realize I’ve decided.
Cole snorts. “Now you want space?” He drags a hand over his jaw. “Playing on the dark side not everything you thought it would be?”
I want to tell him it’s not that I’m scared of him, of being with him, but that I’m scared of who I might become if I keep letting myself taste his darkness.
I’d felt it just now, consuming me, devouring me. Being with Cole doesn’t scare me. It breathes life into me.
And that’s a problem, if I want to survive the rest of senior year.
“You were right... this... us, it could destroy me. And I can’t risk that.”
Surprise registers on his face. “Yeah, it’s probably for the best. I’ll keep your secret if you keep mine.”
“What secret?” I frown, because I haven’t revealed anything to him yet.
He levels me with an icy look and says, “You’re broken, Hadley. Just like me.”
It’s Sunday afternoon when someone finally comes to check on me. After the party, I’d cleaned myself up, gotten dressed, and walked out of there without a backward glance.
I hadn’t been lying to Cole when I said we needed some space.
He made me reckless. Wild and free. And despite wanting to drown in that feeling over and over, I knew it was a dangerous path we were treading. So I withdrew.
I returned to my dorm room and spent the weekend watching movies and binging on the candy stash I had locked away for emergencies.
And what better emergency than giving Cole Jagger a piece of my soul I knew I’d never get back.
“Hadley, I know you’re in there.” Remi’s voice filters through the door. Reluctantly, I clamber off my bed and pad over to it.
“Hey,” I say the second it swings open.
“What the hell, Hads? I’ve been going out of my damn mind.”
“I told you I was fine.”