Little warrior woman.
She is yours. She’ll be yours for ever. You will never, ever let her go.
Possessiveness flooded through him and he didn’t fight it this time; he let it soak into him, become part of him. He ‘d resisted it and resisted it, but there was no resisting any more. She’d unleashed him and here were the consequences.
He drove deeper inside her, feeling her clench around him, stamping his claim on her, making her his in every way there was until the room was full of the sound of her cries and gasps, the sounds of her pleasure and his, until her skin was as slick with sweat as his and she was clawing at the wooden floorboards as if they could give her what she needed.
But they couldn’t. Only he could.
He reached around and under her, sliding his hand possessively over the hard roundness of her stomach and down between her thighs, finding the small, hard bud that gave her the most pleasure and he stroked it, teased it.
She shivered and shook, but he kept her pinned, kept pushing deep and hard, kept teasing her with his fingers until he felt her tighten around him, her body convulsing, her scream of pleasure echoing around the room.
It wasn’t enough though, so he did it again, pushing her harder, pushing her the way she’d pushed him until she shattered for a second time, and only then did he let himself go, abandoning himself utterly to pleasure as he moved inside her, letting it break him, rip him apart completely then scatter him to the winds.
He lost his grip on himself for some time afterwards and when his awareness returned, he found he’d collapsed on top of her, pinning her curvy little body beneath him. A heavy satiation pulsed through him and he didn’t want to move, content to lie there with her beneath him, the scent of feminine musk and jasmine surrounding him. And for a few blissful seconds, he felt nothing but peace.
Then, gradually, he became conscious of what had happened between them, that he’d let his need for her overwhelm him, that he’d let his hunger take control.
You’ve become everything your father warned you against.
Beneath the sated aftermath of pleasure, the same icy thread that had choked him out on the terrace tightened again, reminding him of what he was, what he’d always be. Not only the by-product of his father’s failure to control himself, but also a child full of the same weaknesses. The same needs, the same intense desires. And the same failures too.
Failures that he already knew had had terrible consequences and yet here he was with another failure to add to the list.
Had he learned nothing from his mother’s banishment? From how he’d ruined her life and his father’s? Had he learned nothing from all the years of perfecting his self-control?
Apparently all it took was one lovely woman to touch him and all those lessons were for nothing.
You can’t have her. You don’t deserve it.
His heart felt raw and bruised inside his chest, the scent and feel of her flooding his senses, the warmth of her body permeating every part of him. She was a beautiful, strong, vital woman, who matched him in every way possible. And that was the worst part of all.
She was perfect for him, she was everything he’d ever wanted, yet he couldn’t have her. Because it was true. He didn’t deserve her. His very existence was a mistake, something that shouldn’t have happened. His life had brought nothing but sorrow and ruin to both his parents, and he would bring sorrow and ruin to her, too.
In fact, he already had. She was pregnant with his child, a pregnancy she’d only undertaken on behalf of her friend. It wasn’t his fault that her friend had died, no, but it was his fault he was keeping Ivy here. It was his fault that he’d demanded she marry him.
She hadn’t wanted to; he’d forced her into it.
She never chose you, just as your mother never chose you.
The icy thread, the heavy weight of a shame he couldn’t escape, constricted, the beat of his heart loud in his ears.
He should at least have followed the rules his father had tried to instil in him. No children. No wife. No family. No ties to test the weaknesses inside himself. Nothing but cold earth and hard rock, that was his lot in life and he should have accepted it.
He should never have wanted more.
It’s not too late. You can save this situation.
Nazir closed his eyes a moment, the knowledge of what he had to do settling down inside him, even as every part of his soul clenched in instinctive denial.
But it had to be done. He must impose distance between them. He had to find his control again somehow and this was the only way.
Carefully, because after all he didn’t want to hurt her, he untangled himself and got to his feet. Moving over to where the red robe he’d ripped off her had been discarded, he picked it up and brought it back to her. She’d risen to her feet and so he wrapped the robe gently around her, covering up all that delicious, pale nakedness.
He wished he could savour it a little longer, because he wouldn’t see her like this again, but it was better that he didn’t. No point in making this any harder than it already was, for him at least.
She smiled at him, her copper gaze full of light and heat, and his heart stumbled in his chest. He hoped this wouldn’t hurt her. It might a little, but surely not too greatly. She wasn’t here because she wanted to be, after all, but because he’d made her stay.