But he could see Beah was pissed. He didn’t blame her. If she’d nearly died, he would be reacting the same way. “Let’s talk, Bee,” he said, trying to be as gentle as he knew how.
Beah sent Keely a look and Keely grinned. “Go, Bee. Just keep an eye on the time. Dare has promised to drag me downstairs if I’m even a minute late.”
Finn grinned at his old friend, her blond hair in curlers and her makeup half done. “He’s in the hallway, pacing. He can’t wait to marry you. And you look fabulous, Keels.”
“Liar.” Keely’s smile was bright enough to blind the sun. “But I will. Take your wife out of here, Finn.”
“I’m not his wife,” Beah said, throwing up her hands.
Not wanting to get into an argument in front of strangers, Finn just opened the door and waited for Beah to walk into the hallway. When she finally did, he closed the door behind him and looked at the belligerent love of his life.
She slapped her hands against his chest. “I am. Not. Your. Wife.”
The urge to kiss her was nearly overwhelming, so Finn jammed his hands into the pockets of his suit pants to keep from reaching for her. “Maybe not, according to the legal system. But in my head and in my heart, you are.”
Knowing how easily he could mess up—talking wasn’t what he did well—Finn kept it simple. “I love you, Beah, and I’d love to marry you again. Anywhere, anyhow.”
Beah’s pretty pink lips dropped open in complete shock.
“But if you don’t want to get married, or even live with me, if you want to stay in London and see each other when we can, that’s okay, too. I’m not proud. I’ll take you any way I can get you.”
It wasn’t ideal, but what was his other choice? Not seeing her at all? Unacceptable.
Beah held up her hand as if trying to fend off his words. “You walked away from me, Finn. For the second time.”
“And if I could kick my own ass, I would,” Finn admitted. “I got scared, Beah. You scare me.”
She stared down at her silver shoes, at her pretty painted toes.
“But you know what scares me more?” Finn waited for her to look at him and when she did, he took the chance to slide his thumb across her bottom lip. “Never kissing these lips again terrifies me. Not hearing your laugh, sleeping in an empty bed, not having you in my life, scares the crap out of me, sweetheart.”
Beah looked like she was about to speak and Finn shook his head, needing to get it all out. “When I was trapped under the snow, not able to move, just before I blacked out, your face was all I could see. I felt such profound regret for all the time we’ve wasted, for the love and life we never shared, for the babies we never made. There’s nothing like nearly dying to know what you most want from life.”
Beah’s eyes were bright with emotion. “And that is...?”
“You. It’s all you. You are what the rest of my life looks like,” Finn said, his voice low and cracking. He was ten seconds away from begging and he didn’t care. Beah was his world...
“Let’s find a way forward, Bee. I wasn’t joking when I said I would take anything I could get from you.”
Beah put her hands together as if in prayer and rested her linked fingers over her mouth. She stepped away from him and Finn felt his hope slipping. She was moving away; she was thinking too much, allowing her brain to rule her heart. He was about to get drop-kicked, forty-five minutes before Keely’s wedding.
Crap. Dammit. Hell.
“I still want to leave Murphy’s to take the partnership Michael is offering,” Beah said, lifting her gorgeous but stubborn chin.
He didn’t care if she chose to run for president or whether she sat at home for the rest of her life. She could do anything she damn well wanted.
“And I’d like to keep my flat in London since I’ll be doing business there,” Beah said, her tone thoughtful.
If she had a point, she was taking far too long to reach it. His patience was wearing thin. “Do you love me or not?” Finn demanded, his loud words bouncing off the old walls.
Beah smiled at him. “Maybe. Maybe my love for you was the reason I absolutely lost it in the hospital in Colorado, why I’ve cried myself stupid, why I thought my world had ended when you walked out of it.”
Finn felt a wave of shame. “I’m so sorry. If you let me, I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you.”
Beah finally, finally reached out to touch him, placing her hand on his tuxedo jacket, just above his heart. “I don’t need you to do that, I just want this.”
“My heart?”