No, he knew he loved her. No way did he want this to end.
Hunt, running across Bow Bridge in Central Park, skidded to a stop and slapped his hands on his hips. His breath made a circle of mist in front of his face. He ignored the freezing wind plastering his running top to his chest.
What he knew for sure, deep down in that place where truth lived, was that he most certainly didn’t want her to leave.
He’d thought he did, at the party last night he’d even resolved to break things off with her but thinking was easy. Doing, as he’d discovered, was impossible. His mind, determined to keep him safe, was convinced he needed to remain emotionally isolated and solitary.
His heart and soul, and body, couldn’t conceive of a life without her in it.
Hunt placed his gloved hands on the edge of the cast-iron bridge and stared down at the frigid waters of the Lake. He’d vowed not to fall in love again, to have any emotional attachments, but Adie had snuck under his defenses and flipped that resolve on its head. He was scared of getting hurt, of course he was. He was terrified of losing her, but living his life without her scared him more.
He couldn’t—he wouldn’t—go back to the life he’d had before, an empty apartment, meaningless sex, his hours spent on work and more work.
He wanted something different, something meaningful...
And he wanted everything he could have with Adie.
He wanted that huge wedding, or a small wedding—whatever she preferred. He wanted to see her walking down the aisle toward him. He wanted to come home to her every day and wake up to her every morning. He wanted to see her rounded with a child—his child—to be there when she pushed a new life into the world.
She could be on her way to pregnancy right now. He hadn’t remembered to use a condom this morning. But instead of feeling panicked and anxious at the idea, Hunt smiled, completely at ease with the notion.
His eyes drifted over the snow-covered landscape of his favorite park, and he could imagine a little boy with brown eyes playing in the snow, making tiny snowballs and throwing them at him, missing him by a mile. Or, if he inherited Hunt’s pitcher’s arm, snowballs that hit him square in the face. He could see his son’s momma, another baby in a sling against her chest, the cold turning her cheeks pink, brown eyes sparkling with laughter.
It was easy to imagine his little family coming home to hot chocolate and coffee, Adie stepping over toys and books as she sank to the couch to lift up her shirt to feed their baby girl. He’d make them lunch, bathe the kids, then take his wife to bed and make love to her before one of the kids interrupted their sleep...
He suddenly and desperately wanted what Richard and Rachel had—a solid marriage, a lifetime of memories, children and companionship. Oh, he knew it wouldn’t be easy—having tons of money wasn’t a bulletproof shield against heartache, Steve’s death being a case in point—but Hunt and Adie could work their way through it, love their way through it. They just had to stand together, shoulder to shoulder and face whatever came their way. They had to believe that love could conquer anything.
Hunt shook his head. He sounded like a greeting card, but it didn’t make the emotion any less true. He’d sublimated his earliest dreams, pushed away his wish for a family because he’d been scared to feel loss and pain again, but a family was still what he wanted. And Adie was central to the family he imagined.
He’d never felt this way about Joni. Their relationship had been built on ego and pride. And his relationship with Griselda had been all about convenience. And, possibly, laziness. The thought of raising a child with Griselda now made him shudder. He and Adie wouldn’t have separate apartments or nannies. He would be an active participant in raising their children. He’d take his son to the batting cages and little league practices, his daughter to ballet or cello lessons. Or, hell, vice versa if that was how his kids rolled. He’d be there.
Although he felt unsure and uncertain, he couldn’t wait to dive in, knowing that he and Adie could do it all, together.
The only problem, Hunt thought as he started to jog back home, was convincing her.
Adie zipped her suitcase, grabbed the handle and pulled it off Hunt’s bed. It hit the laminated flooring with a hard thump, narrowly missing her toe. Her eyes blurry with tears, Adie looked around his chocolate-and-aqua room, wondering how she’d find the willpower to pick up her bag and leave.
But she had to...
Because she was sliding into love, doing exactly what she’d promised herself she wouldn’t do. So she had to leave while she still could, while she had the strength to walk away.
Hunt didn’t want this either, Adie reminded herself. He hadn’t offered her anything or suggested she stay in New York or asked her to delay her trip and spend Christmas with him. But something was different, something had happened between them last night and earlier this morning. They hadn’t just had sex—they’d made love.
Sex was easy, but lately, she and Hunt hadn’t engaged in the biomechanical act. No, they’d made love, dammit, in every sense of the words.
Using their bodies, he’d pulled her into his mind and him into hers. There was a shocking intimacy in the way they touched each other that went beyond the prosaic act, it was as if Hunt knew her, could see inside her. They’dconnected.
But she had to sever that connection, now, immediately.
Because if she didn’t, if she allowed this to grow, there were only two possible outcomes. She’d start weaving fantasies around him and he’d soon become frustrated with her and call it quits. Or, if for some weird reason his feelings grew faster than hers and he wanted something permanent from her, she’d run.
Adie wrapped her arms around her waist and walked over to the big window, looking down at the snow-covered streets and trees. She would not do that to Hunt, would not allow him to think they had a future when she knew she was the ultimate runaway lover.
It didn’t matter that Hunt had said he wasn’t into commitment, that he was as anti-relationships as she was. She’d seen something in his eyes last night and it had scared her. Whether she was right or wrong, whether he was falling for her or not, it didn’t matter, she was bailing before this situation got more complicated, before their feelings strolled into the party and ruined everything.
But damn, if there was one guy in the world who could tempt her to stay, persuade her to take a chance, then Hunt Sheridan was that guy, the only guy...
“Coffee?”