“Okay, Mom. I love you, I do. But we are not having this conversation.”
“But it’s so much fun watching you squirm.” She chuckles and the sound lifts some of the pressure from my chest.
Mom shifts slightly, lifting her arm out for me. “Come snuggle with me. I missed you today.”
I burrow myself in her side and pull the blanket around us both. “Has D been by today?”
“He called earlier. But he’s snowed under at the shop.”
“Are you hungry? I can make us some dinner.”
“Not yet. I just want to enjoy some time with my girl.” She kisses my head. “You know, sometimes I look at you and wonder where the years went, Katrina.”
“You’re not going to get all emotional on me are you?”
“Hey. I think I’m entitled to a little heartfelt speech now and again.” She pinches my side and our laughter fills the room.
“I love you, Mom.”
“I love you too, baby. Always and forever.”
My chest tightens at her words. Because always and forever had a time limit for us. And it is approaching quicker than I can accept.
* * *
Iended up ordering me and Mom takeout. But she barely ate. By the time I washed the dishes she was out cold on the couch, so I left her downstairs and went up to my room to study.
But it’s almost impossible to focus. In the past, when stuff got too hard, I would sneak out and go partying. Anything to escape the pressure of being here, witnessing her in constant pain or being so high on meds that she couldn’t string a sentence together.
Tonight, though, I don’t do anything.
She needs me.
Mom needs me and I need to be here for her.
Besides, Ryder has kept me entertained with his flirty suggestive texts. The same can’t be said for Styx. Since I left his house this morning I’ve only had one brief text checking in. But honestly, his hot and cold mood swings are giving me so much whiplash, I don’t have the energy today to try and figure him out.
Ryder: How’s studying going?
Kat: It’s hard to concentrate.
Ryder: You just don’t have the right motivation.
Kat: Sounds intriguing…
My cell starts ringing and I hit answer.
“Hello.”
“Get on your bed, darlin’ and get naked.”
“W-what? I can’t—”
“Sure you can. You need some motivation, I’m going to give it to you. Are you on the bed?”
“Yes.” I kick off my pajama shorts and lay down in my cropped black tee and panties.
“Good. Now put your fingers on yourself.”