But just like all the other times, my message is read but goes unanswered.
Looks like I’m going to have to up the stakes if I’m going to get her to remember I exist.
11
KAT
“You’re late,” I say the second Ryder pulls up beside me.
Ten minutes late to be precise.
I was almost ready to leave but then I heard the familiar rumble of his bike in the distance.
“Cut a guy some slack. It wasn’t easy sneaking out of the compound.”
“Sneaking out?” My brow lifts and his deep chuckle hits me right in the stomach.
“You gonna stand there all night, Kitten? Or you gonna hop the fuck on?” He hands me a spare helmet and I shove it on before climbing on the back of his bike.
“Not gonna lie, darlin’,” he calls over his shoulder. “Could get used to feeling you pressed up behind me like this.”
My heart flutters at his words.
A lot of guys are precious about who they let on the back of their bikes. Sure, some flaunt it, use it as a pussy magnet, but a lot of them save it for their old ladies.
I’ve never seen Ryder with a club whore on the back of his bike, but I’ve seen him with plenty of them around the clubhouse.
A pang of jealousy goes through me but I shove it down.
I’m looking to escape all the shit going on in my life, not add to the drama. Besides, I know what this is and isn’t.
But when Ryder grabs my hands and tightens them around his waist, I can’t deny the flash of emotion that goes through me.
Sometimes, it feels like I’ve watched everyone around me fall in love. River and my brother. Her stepsister Sadie Ray, and her cousin Quinn. Even Sadie’s old man, Ray—the Savage Falls Chapter Prez—has found love recently. And don’t get me started on Aunt Cassie who has at least four bikers eating out the palm of her hand.
Everyone is coupling up. Quadrupling up in Sadie’s and River’s case.
And I’ve never felt more alone.
I’ve never particularly felt the urgent need to be in a relationship but when you watch everyone else around you fall in love like it’s catching, it’s hard not to question why you’re all alone.
That’s why I’d been so relieved over the holidays, when Styx finally gave into the chemistry between us. Because I’ve always wanted him. He’s always made me feel safe and cherished and—
Stop, Katrina.
Styx is a coward. A liar who broke my heart.
Damn you, Stygian Johnson.
I inhale a steady breath, revelling in the whoosh of cold air as Ryder takes off, taking me far away from here.
Even if this isn’t serious between us, even if it’s nothing more than a bit of fun, he wants to be here.
He wants me.
And for now, it’s enough.
* * *