Kat: Ryder, I didn’t mean… that came out wrong. It’s just been a difficult morning and I can’t go home so I figured we could… forget it. You have better things to be doing than hanging out with me. Forget I said anything.
I hit send before I can backtrack and throw my cell phone down. Most people aren’t self aware enough of their own flaws but I couldn’t be more aware if I tried. And I hate it. I hate that I know every bad thing about me yet I can’t seem to change myself.
I guess that’s what happens when you grow up starved of attention.
You crave connections. See signs that aren’t really there. You join dots that don’t exist.
Ryder isn’t flirting with me.
Why would he?
He has better things to be doing than hanging around with a girl like me.
So when his reply finally comes through, I scold myself for the way my heart flutters in my chest.
Ryder: Tell me where you are and I’ll come and get you.
It doesn’t mean anything.
He’s just being friendly. Nice. He’s just looking out for his friend’s little sister.
That’s all it is.
Right?
4
RYDER
The sight of her sitting in the long grass by the river cracks something inside me, and proves that I was right to risk reaching out and checking that she’s okay.
Clearly, she’s not.
I got a play-by-play of Styx’s short time with her last night seeing as I was waiting for him to return home. Something he acts like he hates, but equally, I know he loves.
He’s never liked being alone and since his creep of a housemate upped and fucked off without so much as a warning or paying up for the rent he owed, Styx has been even more miserable than ever.
Although, I think that might have something to do with the little spitfire I’m walking toward that it is longing for Creepy McCreeperson.
I keep trying to convince him to let me help. I’ve got the money, and if it means he no longer has to share his house with some fruit loop then surely it’s a win-win situation. Especially as I’ll hardly ever be there. I’ve got it too good at the compound to want to properly move out.
Different women in the bar every night of the week, my brothers right there to drink, fight or shoot the shit with, and I can practically stumble in to work all of ten seconds after leaving my room.
It’s everything a single guy in his twenties could need. Especially while he’s trying to drown out the depressing reality that his family is dealing with a little over a hundred miles away. A reality they try their hardest not to burden me with.
Kat doesn’t notice me as I get closer. She just stares up at the clouds racing through the sky above her, probably wishing she was anywhere but here. Waiting for anyone but me right now.
“You look a little lonely there, darlin’,” I say once I’m standing right over her.
“Shit,” she gasps, sitting up so fast it has to make her head spin.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”
Although, it’s a lie. The sight of her with her eyes wide and her lips parted in shock have memories of a very different time I spent with her not all that long ago.
“It’s okay. Have you come to take me away?” she asks before she seems to hear the words that just came out of her mouth and grimaces. “I’m sorry. I’m not really feeling like myself today.”
“Come on, darlin’. I think I might have exactly what you need.”