But that’s on him.
He lied.
He betrayed me.
So why do I want to comfort him?
“I texted Diesel back,” I blurt out, thinking maybe it’ll break the tension stifling us.
“Yeah?”
“He keeps asking me when I’ll be ready to go and see Mom. But I’m not… I can’t…”
“Hey, hey.” He comes and sits beside me, taking my hand in his. “Nobody is saying you have to go right now or tomorrow or even the day after. But she’s your mom, Kat. The only one you’ve got. And she’s doing good, baby girl. She’s doing good.”
“You think I don’t know that? Wait, you’ve seen her?”
“I have actually. She asked to talk to me.”
“What?”
He nods. “Wanted to give me a Evelyn Walker style dressing down.”
“Oh my God, she didn’t.” A faint smile traces my lips.
“Threatened to cut off my balls if I ever hurt you. Told her I’d gladly hand them over if I ever screw this up.”
“Th-this?” I choke out.
“Yeah, Kat. You and me… and Ryder.”
I can’t process what he’s saying.
Styx has always been adamant he won’t share me.
He’s always—
“Cat got your tongue, baby girl?”
“You want this? Me and Ryder?”
“Fuck no. I don’t want anything to do with that ugly fucker. But I want you, Kitty Kat.” He reaches for me. “I want you. And if the only way I get to have you is by accepting that you also want him, then I can live with that.”
“I… I don’t know what to say. You really hurt me, Styx. Both of you.” My breath catches. “But since Mom… none of it seems important now.”
“We can talk about this later. You need to eat and then you need to let me and Ryder take care of you, okay? Think you can do that?”
I give him a small nod. “I’ll try.”
32
STYX
“What are you doing?” Kat asks as I browse through the romance section on Netflix.
“Finding something for you to watch,” I say as if it wasn’t blindingly obvious.
“Do you even know me at all, Stygian Johnson?”