“Wow. He’s into you then.”
“More my body, I think.” I thought of the tender kisses and how he held me all night in his arms and how he was always holding my hand or doing something sweet. Tears streamed down my face. My heart snapped in two.
“He loves the fact I’ve only been with him. And now he’ll see these photos… yuck. I want to puke, just thinking of it. I have to leave. I can’t have him thinking I’m a whore.”
“Hello, you were a fucking virgin when he slept with you. You can’t fake that.”
I exhaled a loud breath. “Yep. The sheet was a mess. And I’m sure that’s not me blowing whoever in that fucking shot. I’d never had a dick in my mouth until Declan’s.”
“Then tell him, for Christ’s sake.”
“I haven’t got much time. She wants me out, like today.”
“Oh, sweetie, I would tell him.”
“Mm… Thanks for being here for me. I love you.”
“I’m here for you, always,” she said.
I choked through a “bye” and ended the call.
As I sat on the edge of that comfortable bed with sheets like silk, I held my face and stared glumly at the polished floorboards.
I studied the photos closely. The woman certainly had my body. Was that me? If I’d forgotten doing that, then why did I remember running away?
Why hadn’t I remembered Reynard Crisp’s face?
I wanted to scream as all these questions raged through me.
I couldn’t let Declan see the photos. It would kill me. That dark cloud of uncertainty hanging over us.
I wanted him to think of me as that pure soul he’d admitted to falling in love with.
Yes, in love. With that pure version of me.
I lumbered back to Mrs. Lovechilde’s office and knocked on the door.
On hearing “Enter” I stepped into that room that smelt of my mother’s perfume. Not only did they share the same cold hearts, but the same fucking fragrance.
“If I leave, will you promise not to show him? Can I have the photos destroyed?”
She studied me and nodded. “Good, you’ve come to your senses. I’m glad. It’s not easy to survive this kind of thing. I will destroy them.” She opened her drawer and removed another envelope. “Here it’s all there. Now off you go.”
I took the envelope.
“You’ve forgotten something,” she said.
As I stared at the cheque, a replay of me sharing with strangers, which is where all this trouble started, entered my thoughts.
I’d paid off my debts, but I only had enough money for about one month’s survival. And what of my degree?
My hand shook as I picked up the cheque.
“That’s wise. You can have a good future. Set yourself up for life. And none of this will follow you.”