“I already told you.”
“Tell me again.”
“I want to understand you.”
“I’ve given you enough to get the drift. What else?”
“I want to see if this will bring us closer.”
He huffed. “If we want to be closer, we can just fuck. C’mon. Get honest.” When she hesitated, he pressed his fist to the small of her back and poised his other hand over her ass, where she was sure to feel the heat of his palm hovering above her burning skin like a threat. “You’re pushing me for something even as you’re fighting to hang on to your control. I won’t allow either.”
She tensed and met his gaze, pressing her lips together for a long mute moment.
He spanked her again. “I can stand here and do this all night.” He slapped the other cheek, gratified by her yelp. “Talk to me.”
“There’s something happening to me. I feel it just out of my reach…”
Now they were getting somewhere. “You’re on a precipice, aren’t you?”
“Yes. I don’t know what it means. I want it…and I’m afraid.”
“You can’t hang on to both your barriers and your grief. Don’t fight, little girl. I’ve got you. Let go.” He raised the belt again and jerked it down onto her flesh with a whoosh.
Heavenly jolted, screeched, and grabbed the cabinet pulls. “I don’t know how.”
“Just give it to me. That anguish doesn’t belong to you anymore.”
She clenched—her teeth, her shoulders, her ass—as she gave him a ferocious shake of her head.
Beck had done this too many times not to know she was hanging by a thread.
“Yes.” He shortened the lead and reared back, landing a blistering smack on her glowing ass. “Now.”
She shrieked, trembled, tried to climb the cabinets—and remained mute.
He backhanded her ass with equal force. “You’re taking my pain. I want yours in return.”
Heavenly’s screams as she tugged on the pulls and tried to dance away scraped him to the bone. God, she was right on the edge… Doubt sprouted inside him. She hadn’t cracked and acknowledged her sorrow yet. A part of him wanted to release her wrists and simply coddle her to his chest, but the fear of never breaking through her barriers forced him on.
“Hand it over, little girl.” He raised the belt one more time, then sent it colliding onto her flesh with just enough force to splinter her apart.
Heavenly sucked in a shocked breath, shuddered, then spewed a heart-rending wail that nearly undid him. Beck knew a split second before her shoulders sagged that Heavenly had finally broken.
As her legs gave out, he tossed the belt aside, unfastened the bungee cords, and scooped her against his chest. He buried his face in the crook of her neck and planted kisses against her damp flesh as she crumpled against him, her entire body bucking with sobs. Sorrow poured off her.
His heart broke for her as he gathered her closer. “That’s it. Purge for me. Mourn. It’s okay.”
“It’s not,” she wailed almost incoherently, tears spilling down her face and onto his bare chest.
“Shh. Abel was a good man. It’s time for you to honor him.”
“I-I don’t know how.”
“Weep for him. Let him feel how much you love him.” He pressed his lips to her ear. “You were his greatest treasure. He loved you with all his heart, didn’t he?”
“Yes.” The inhuman noise that left her throat was something between a scream and a sob.
“Show me,” Beck challenged. “With your tears.”