Chapter Fourteen
Jemma
There's nothing colder than Connecticut in February except the silence of not having them in the same room bickering over who makes the next food run while they read contracts, talking out coding issues or quarterly spreadsheets.
Father and Mother have officially cut me out of their lives. I have the icy letter on my dresser to prove it. The final line the coldest of all: Your shame is yours to carry alone.
In the three weeks since the quiet flight home I’ve managed to do absolutely nothing for myself except go to work and sleep.
“I can’t bear to apply for another school.”
“You can’t walk away from getting your degree. You only have a few months left and then you can do whatever it is you want.”
I pick at the ice cream tub sitting between me and Brooklyn, the mint chocolate no longer appetizing. In fact, I feel rather nauseous lately at the slightest taste of food.
“I want them.”
Brooklyn’s hand shoots out to cover mine with a friendly squeeze. “Have you talked with them? Do they know yet?”
I shake my head. I suspected my upset stomach was due to more than just a broken heart. When Brooklyn found me hugging the toilet yesterday morning, we both had a crying session that ended with my best friend running to the drugstore around the corner.
“I need some space to wrap my head around this. None of this was supposed to happen. But I will eventually, especially with…” I point to my stomach. “But right now, I just need to think what I’m going to do next. It hasn’t been easy. I miss them. I’ve texted them a few times. Erik especially.”
Brooklyn takes the ice cream away and pushes a bottle of water into my hand. “They haven’t been to the school for class. They’ve brought in your father to fill in for Erik's lectures. I had no idea class could get harder, but that man has found a way to make me dread advanced mathematics and I LOVE numbers.”
I cringe and take my friend’s hand in mine. My throat grows tight with all the pent-up emotions I have nowhere to release. “I’m sorry. Truly. I didn’t mean to make your life miserable.”
“You need to talk to him.”
“I tried. I went home last Sunday and was promptly informed I was no longer their daughter.”
“And they gifted you that nastygram.”
I nod. Tears burn my eyes but I force them to retreat.
“How about we go to V-Day party? Something to help lighten your mode. Talk to some peeps, get you out of your funk?”
“The last party is what got me into this mess. I think I’ll grab another shift down at Krista’s, maybe give her the night off. I’ll be needing the extra money if I want to finish my degree before the baby.”
“Want me to come with? Sit there and keep you company? Make sure you drink enough water?”
I laugh softly. “No, go to your party. I have a couple of things to do before I leave anyway.”
“Are you sure?”
I pull Brooklyn in for a quick hug and tap the heart on my charm bracelet that belongs to her. I already have you with me. Go, have fun. Take pictures of your new boyfriend for me.” My friend is reluctant but she has a life and a new boyfriend. No way I would be the one to keep her. There’s no way I’m going to keep her from the first Valentine’s Day with her new love interest.
As soon as she is gone, I lock the door and head to the bathroom for a hot shower and a deep cry.
An hour later I’m serving a warm cup of hot cocoa to a group of students hitting the books hard and I’m hit with Brooklyn’s words of seeking my degree one way or another. I miss my books, but I miss them more.
“What’s wrong, honey? You look like you’re going to burst into tears.”
I turn to look over my shoulder to find Krista eyeing me intently. “It’s just been a long month or so.”
I force a smile and just my luck. Someone walks in so I duck my head and get to work. Between orders and on my breaks I pull out my ebook reader and flip through a couple of my textbooks. Most people my age prefer them over the tonnage of textbooks others lug around.
The sound of a bell pulls me out of my reading and I look up to find a man with a huge bouquet of flowers so big it covers his head and upper torso. He places them on a nearby table, turns and heads back out.