She recalled Maya’s bruising.
“It’s not pretty, my sweetness, and why we keep strict rules within the walls at the club.”
She nodded again only this time she felt bile burn the back of her throat.
“How is any of that pleasurable?” The word pleasure left her mouth dry. “Why do this to anyone? Why give over that much control to another person?”
“Because some people like taking control and perverting it.”
His eyes turned a darker shade of blue. Haunted shadows passed across his expression before he grabbed their cups and rinsed them out. “Answer honestly, when we all took you, how did you feel knowing the four of us could do anything we wanted to you?”
“Scared. Turned on.”
“Safe?”
She nodded. “I trusted you. All of you.” Like a fool? Probably.
“That’s how it starts. For some men, that’s how they hook their victims. With sugar, until their submissives are so addicted there’s no escape when they show their true natures.”
What did that say about her and what they made her feel? Would she give over control to them in the throes of passion? Fear dripped into her bloodstream until her heart raced. She didn’t want to be like that. Like Maya. But she craved what the kings made her feel. The power they held over her the second they put their hands on her.
He dried his hands and took her face in them once again. He didn’t speak until she drew her eyes to his. “But that is not you, my strong bird. You have nothing to fear with us. Nothing. Do you understand me?”
In his arms, with his heartbeat thumping beneath her palms, she considered him for several moments. Read into his calm expression and saw the truth of his words feeding back into her.
“Yes,” she whispered.
“Louder. I want to know you believe me with all of your being.”
“Yes.”
“Yes, what?”
“Yes, I trust you.” As soon as the words fell from her lips she found truth in them.
“With your life,” he filled in for her and took her mouth in a powerful kiss. The heat was so scorching it touched her soul.
They stayed like that for a moment just enjoying each other’s steady breathing.”
“And this is illegal, right?”
He nodded. “What is done behind closed doors isn’t often discovered until it’s too late.”
Darkness swallowed him for a moment, and she realized Roman no longer stood in her kitchen but was transported to another time.
“If you ever find yourself at the hands of a sadistic fuck who’d rather see you in pain than pleasure, you’re better off finding a way to kill the mother fucker than trying to escape.”
His voice grew distant again with the weight of what she could only assume were memories.
“Did you ever...”
“Not me, but a friend of mine from years back.”
She reached for this hand and drew it back to her lips to place a soft kiss on the inside of his palm. “Do you want to talk about it?” A blind woman could see he had firsthand experience with what he described.
He gave a weak smile and brushed the pad of his thumb over her lips before moving his hand to cup the back of her head. He drew her in and placed a tender kiss on her lips. “She died thinking the man she gave full control to loved her. I couldn’t save her, but you can stake your life on me never letting anything like that happen to you. I’ll kill any mother fucker who tries to touch what’s ours. You got me?”
She sighed and stayed quiet for a couple of minutes, sensing a far deeper story. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up bad memories.”