“Right,” Mel said with a tiny smile. “I thought you were a smart guy, Spence. I thought you knew a good thing when you found it.”
He leaned towards her, aggression flaring. “Like you and Dev did? How did that work out for you?”
“We’re not discussing me and Dev,” she said, her eyes flashing. “We’re talking about you and Zoe.”
“There is no me and Zoe. I finished the job, and I came back here. End of story.”
“Fine. Everyone’s entitled to their stupidity.” She studied him for a long moment. Shook her head. “You get your personal leave, starting tomorrow. I know what you should do with it, but clearly you don’t. Take tonight to unwind and write your report, then get out of the compound. I’ll see you in a week.
“After your week of leave, we’re assigning you permanently to Seattle.”
“What did you say?” Spence shot up from the chair and stared down at Mel.
“I think you heard me. You’re in Seattle from now on. Effective as soon as your leave is over.”
“Why me?” Spence asked. Although he was pretty sure he knew why.
“Because you and Nico work really well together. I noticed that when you were there earlier for Julia’s case. And Zoe’s case sealed the deal. You and Nico are a good team, and I know I won’t have to micromanage our Seattle office.”
Spence drew in a deep breath. Blew it out. “Are you sending me to Seattle because Zoe’s there?”
“I was thinking about this even before I sent you there for the Davies situation,” she retorted. “So that would be a no.”
“I don’t… I don’t think that’s a good idea for me,” Spence said.
Mel tilted her head. “So are you quitting? Because that’s your only other option here.”
“Hell no, I’m not quitting. I love working for Blackhawk Security. I just want you to reconsider and send someone else.”
“Decision’s been made, Spence. You’re the best fit for Seattle. You’re already familiar with the area from your previous two stints there. You work well with Nico. It’s a done deal.”
She held his gaze, and he saw the same flinty determination he’d seen too many times in Zoe’s eyes. Mel wasn’t backing down. “I’m taking my leave. Then I’m taking my vacation time. I need to think about this and make a decision. I’ll let you know what I decide.”
He turned and walked out of Mel’s office, the turmoil in his head drowning out her response. He wanted to slam the door so hard it fell off its hinges, but instead he closed it carefully.
The next morning, Spence sat on the cold sand of Silver Strand State Beach and stared at the waves rolling toward shore. He’d needed the beach. The water. Needed it to balance himself. To make himself whole again. The water had always been his touchstone. Always helped him to think more clearly.
This morning, the wind was gusting and the air was cool, so the waves were sizeable. It was early enough that Spence had the beach to himself, thank God.
He tracked each wave as it rolled ashore, memories of SEAL training running through his brain. A couple of surfers ran into the water, holding their boards, and Spence watched as they threw themselves onto the boards and began paddling out. Looking for a big wave to ride.
Silver Strand was familiar. Easily accessible. And he’d known it would be deserted this early in the morning. But he shouldn’t have come here. It was too familiar.
He’d come here often with his friends during his SEAL days.
And it was the beach where Marissa had died.
He’d thought he loved Marissa. And he supposed he did. But that love was a bland, colorless thing compared to what he felt for Zoe. Miranda had been fun. Sexy. Beautiful. But she was no Zoe.
Marissa’d had the depth of a puddle, but at the time, that’s what he thought he wanted. A simple, uncomplicated relationship with a woman he could tuck into a corner of his life and take out when he wanted her.
And his feelings for Marissa were also no deeper than a puddle.
He’d been devastated when she died. He’d thought it was his fault, and in part, it had been.
Marissa had been fun. Attractive. Even-tempered, and he’d fallen into a relationship with her. But compared to how he felt about Zoe? A shallow pond compared to a tsunami. Still water compared to a raging flood.
What he felt for Zoe was a towering wave, crashing over him and washing everything else away.