Heidi turned her cart toward the east part of the store, which was laid out with vegetables and fruit. Lila followed, carefully weighing her options. Something about Heidi screamed loneliness, and even if they only ended up as friends, that would make Lila feel as though she’d done her part—or even if it never went beyond the one conversation they were going to have that day. Which meant she’d have to make it count.
“What inspired you to go into social work?” Lila asked as she reached the apples and grabbed a bag.
Heidi’s lips curled upward, her cheeks tinged pink, and she looked at the ground before she answered. “The kids, really.”
“Yeah?” Lila dropped an apple into the bag.
“I wanted to make sure they had a voice and that someone listened to them. In some ways I’m able to do that, and in others, it’s so much harder than I ever imagined.”
“I bet you just want to take them all home and make sure they’re safe.”
“Some days.” Heidi grinned before her face dropped. “Other days I know I’m not prepared to give them a home on any level. It wouldn’t help. Some of these kids have such deep issues that it’s hard to even know where to begin beyond finding shelter and food that is only marginally better than where they were.”
Lila paused as she dropped the bag into her cart. “I can’t even imagine some of the things you see every day.”
“Not every day, just some days.”
“But those days—gosh, it must be hard.”
“It can be. It’s also incredibly rewarding. To see the love strangers give to children who literally show up at their doorsteps with nothing? It’s what makes me come back every day. These kids deserve love.”
“That they do.” Lila drew in a deep breath before letting it out slowly. “I spent two nights in emergency placement. It’s nothing compared to most kids, but it certainly was eye opening.”
Heidi kept her lips closed. Lila gave her a wan smile. She hadn’t quite expected to dip into this topic, but maybe it would help Heidi to see the impact she made on all those kids that walked through her door.
“My sister and I were living with our dad at the time. Mom and him shared custody, and we never liked going to his house. It was…” Tears stung her eyes. “…it was hell, honestly. He had a drug problem, he had a women and men problem, and he wasn’t around the greatest people.”
“I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”
Lila shrugged slightly. “In a lot of ways I wish it had been easier, and in others, I’m glad I went through it because it makes me who I am. Dad got busted because one of hisfriends,and I use that word lightly, took pictures of my sister and I and put it out on the Internet. He got caught, we ended up in emergency care until Mom could come get us.”
“That’s terrible.” Heidi took a step and reached out, gripping Lila’s hand. “You called me strong before, but I’d beg to differ. You’re the one who is strong.”
Lila snorted and rolled her eyes, brushing off the sentiment. “I had really good therapy.”
Chuckling, Heidi nodded. “That always helps, too. I’m glad you were given the tools you needed to sort through all of that trauma.”
“Yeah, I was lucky. My stepdad was always a great support, too. He took both my sister and me under his wing like we were his own. A much better father than our bio dad.”
Heidi hummed briefly before moving toward the vegetables. “And you went into ordering.”
“I did. I like it. It’s an easy job, most weeks. This week, not so much. But I get to go to work, come home, and not think about anything but life as I want it to be.”
That sad look crossed Heidi’s gaze again, but she masked it quickly. Lila moved in next to her and started to test out avocados. She could make guacamole for a dip that night prior to her dinner date.
“Why do you look so sad?” Lila asked out of the blue. She really should learn to be more tactful, but sometimes she couldn’t help herself.
Heidi started before she relaxed. “I didn’t realize it was obvious.”
“I’m a natural born observer, for obvious reasons.”
“No doubt. I am as well, and I learned to hone those skills very early on in my life. It was more self-pity than sadness, only because I had the thought that you were lucky to have those tools. I wasn’t so lucky.”
“Oh.” Realization hit Lila like a freight train. Opening up about her own sexual abuse, albeit it not terribly traumatic on some levels, had given Heidi the opportunity to subtly talk about hers. If there was one thing she had learned over the years of sharing her story, it was that sometimes these connections with other survivors were the strongest, most intense, and most immediate she would ever experience.
Reaching out, Lila touched Heidi’s arm very gently as she left a lot of space between them. She didn’t want to crowd Heidi or make her feel as though she couldn’t escape. In fact, Lila took a step so she wasn’t blocking Heidi in. “I was right about you being strong.”
Heidi snorted and frowned. “You might not say that if you knew me better.”