“Thank you,” Heidi answered, happy to have Ann in her life, not for the first time.
Lila crossed her arms and lounged into the couch to stare into the fire. Heidi left her alone with her thoughts for the time being. She figured Lila had a lot more thinking to do on the matter than either Heidi or Ann did. Relationships weren’t something they were afraid of. They struggled with them, yes, but they weren’t afraid to love—not like Lila was, and they were also very patient people.
Staring at her partner of nearly sixteen years, Heidi smiled contentedly. It was the happiest she could remember feeling in a long time. They still had a lot of work to do—it would take years to learn and smooth all the kinks out—but for the first time in years, she felt as if there was some hope they could accomplish that very difficult task, and that they both wanted to. Ann had told her once she was in it for the long haul, and Heidi was reminded just how truthful Ann had been in that statement.
* * *
The first half of the drive home was quiet. They had both been resigned. Their goodbye with Lila had felt stilted somehow, and Heidi couldn’t figure out why. They had made so much progress in the last few days, and she worried Lila hadn’t come along with them for it. She did not want to leave Lila behind.
Fields passed by on either side of the vehicle as Ann drove. Lila had left an hour before they had, and the final hour atIndigowithout her had been unsettled. Heidi stared out the window as she mulled through everything. In some ways it was rather overwhelming, but there was a sense of calm and peace at the center of it all. She hadn’t felt that in over a decade. She could barely remember when, honestly.
Ann’s fingers curled around her thigh, garnering her attention. Heidi slid her hand on top of Ann’s and gave her a light squeeze and a small curl of her lips before moving to look out the window again. She wondered if Ann could sense her mood, curious as to what was wrong. On the one hand, nothing was, but on the other, not everything felt right either. Heidi closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath, calming her heart, which had already begun to race.
“It’s Lila,” Heidi whispered.
“She needs more time,” Ann answered, her hand tightening. “Give her some time.”
“I’m worried time will push her away.”
Ann snorted. “For someone who has the patience of Job, you are not patient right now. How am I the one who has more than you in this?”
“Practice?” Heidi gazed at Ann, winking when they made eye contact with a flirtatious smile. “You always joke about how impatient you are, but you’re not with me. If there’s one thing you have patience with, it’s me and my baggage. I imagine it’s the same with Lila. I’m not as used to that as you are.”
“Perhaps.” Ann stared out the windshield, driving straight down the highway.
Heidi swallowed the lump in her throat. She wasn’t even sure she could figure out what it was she felt. How she could form it into words for Ann to understand was another disaster just waiting to happen. She sighed, thinking about Lila. The beautiful curls of her blonde hair.
Those eyes. That was what had done Heidi in. Lila’s deep blue eyes, such a sapphire blue—she’d never seen a color like that before. Ann’s hand on her leg caught her attention again.
“What are you thinking about?”
Heidi snorted.
“Really?”
Pushing her head into the back of the seat, Heidi faced Ann. “I think I’m worried about her still.”
“You said you talked to her again.”
“I did.” Heidi sighed. “And I don’t think I got very far.”
“Were you trying to convince her to be with us?”
Heidi tossed Ann a glare. “No. I was trying to tell her how we felt about her.”
“Ah.” Ann turned her hand over and entwined their fingers. “And how do we feel about her?”
Narrowing her gaze, Heidi tried to decide if Ann was attempting to confirm or if she was prodding to get Heidi to think about things differently than she had before. Thinning her lips, Heidi decided to answer. “We love her.”
“Yes, that.”
“Yes, that,” Heidi mimicked back. “So of course we want to be with her.”
“I’ve known Lila for years now, Heidi, and I have never seen her be in a committed relationship beyond me. No offense, but you two haven’t been together all that long. Even in the year we were together, love didn’t come up until recently.”
“How recently?”
Ann shot her a serious look. “Like in the last month.”