“I suppose,” Lila responded.
Ann still had no idea what conversation it was they were supposed to have, but she assumed Heidi knew what they were going to be talking about and that she’d just drag Ann right along with her as she often did.
“I want to talk about something, something that may have started last night.”
“O…kay?”
Heidi nodded at Ann. “We’re not breaking up with you. This isn’t simply ayou come here, fix us, we ditch youtype of thing.”
Lila drew in a shuddering breath. “I don’t do monogamous, committed relationships.”
“Well, this wouldn’t be monogamous,” Heidi said with a light laugh. “And we’re not necessarily asking you to give up other dates. What we’re saying is, we’re still here, and we still want to be here for the future as well. We’re not done with you.”
Lila stared at Heidi with a blank expression before turning it on Ann. “I’m not sure I understand.”
“We want to keep dating you,” Ann supplied, fully on board with where the conversation was going. It was one they needed to absolutely have. “We love you.”
“You love what I can do for you.”
“No,” Ann corrected. “I love that part of you, yes, but I also love so much more than that. I told you before I even knew you were dating Heidi.”
“But I was still useful to you.”
“Isn’t everyone useful to their partner in some way?”
“I suppose.” Lila still looked suspicious, almost like she was going to bolt. Not that she had many places to run to except her room. “I still don’t do those kinds of relationships.”
“We’re not asking you to. All we’re asking is that you believe us when we say we both still want you.”
They fell into a quiet silence. Lila thinking deeply about something that Ann wished she had some insight to. Her glances to Heidi didn’t help her glean any information either. Just as her nerves were getting the best of her and she was about to be pushed into the land of utter impatience, Lila gave a single curt nod.
“I’ll think about it.”
Ann groaned. Were they not going to resolve anything on the trip? Nothing to completion, only halfway there? Yes, she and Heidi had mended a lot of fences in their short time atIndigo, but they were only getting started. All she’d wanted was one really good thing to grasp hold of and hang on to.
“Lila, I promise you, we will never do anything you don’t want. We’re not together in this, we’re just in this together—I really hope that made sense.” Ann clenched her jaw as she waited for confirmation.
Lila chuckled. “I think I know what you mean.”
“Good. Because I’m not sure I can explain that better.”
Heidi shook her head, halfway in disbelief and halfway teasing. “I’m glad we came up here, you know.”
“I am too,” Ann added. “Even if it’s sucked a lot of the time. I think it was good for us.”
“You and your damn crazy ideas.” Lila laughed fully this time. It was beautiful to listen to, and Ann was glad Lila seemed to be getting back on her feet and moving toward balance.
The three of them talked for hours, until it was time to start helping with dinner prep. Eli had said she could do it all, but they insisted on helping as much as they could. With Eli’s family coming for the day—at least those who were in town—they wanted to make sure they didn’t stick her with doing everything.
CHAPTER20
Heidi settledon the couch in the den on their last night atIndigo. She had never expected the few days they spent there to go so well, but they had, eventually. That first shock for Ann had certainly thrown them all for a loop. And then Lila. Heidi sighed into her tea. Lila was still a bit of a conundrum.
She could so easily see how this would all end up, how they would work well together and be the two parts with the third. But still there were nerves around this new aspect to their relationship, with a new twist to how everything was playing out. Everything was just too new. Sipping her tea and burning her lip and the tip of her tongue, Heidi scrunched her nose.
The fire flickered nicely across from her, warming her toes as she stretched them toward the flames. She’d always loved fire, the mesmerizing way it would captivate her. There was nothing better than sitting and watching the fire lick its way into darkness. The B&B was quiet, except for the wind blowing against the windows and trees outside. The night before had been a bustle of noise and people, and it had taken a lot of out Heidi to stay present in the moment. She’d escaped as soon as she felt it was polite to do so. The others hadn’t seemed to mind.
It was still decently early in the morning, and so she knew Ann would be sleeping in like she always did. Heidi was comfortable with the silence. It had taken her years to get that way, but eventually, she’d managed to get her body to wind down enough that she could focus on the sounds of the earth around her and not be terrified someone was coming in tovisither. That had been the most terrifying experience of her life, never knowing which person had bought her time next.