“We both love you,” Heidi added. “And we’re here for you, even if you have flashbacks, even if you don’t want to do certain things, even if you’re scared or hurting or so happy you can’t contain it. We’re here for you.”
Lila gave a gentle nod. Ann hoped she understood what they were saying, but in the state Lila was in currently, she wouldn’t be surprised if she barely heard the words. At least she knew the sentiment. The three of them hunkered down in Lila’s double bed and waited until Lila was ready to emerge.
After a while, Lila begged them off, wanting to take a shower to clear her mind. Heidi agreed it would be a good idea. Together they waited for Lila to be done, sending each other looks of worry and keeping their conversation light. When Lila was done, they headed downstairs for a quiet snack and to sit by the fire. Ann tried to keep the conversation as easy as possible but also allowed room for Lila to talk if she wanted. Everything that night had turned out to be about Lila and taking care of her needs. Ann and Heidi had neglected her too much already.
* * *
At breakfast, Lila seemed to be much more even-keeled. Heidi had spent the night with her, and Ann had heard low rumblings from the room on and off when she’d woken up, so she’d known they hadn’t slept much. Still, both looked decently awake once Ann had stumbled down the stairs.
Eli settled an omelet in front of each of them. Ann was about to remind her of Heidi’s vegan tendencies when Eli put her hand up. “It’s egg substitute, and it’s vegan. I already told her.”
Heidi raised an eyebrow in Ann’s direction, filled with curiosity and a bit of appreciation if Ann looked more closely than usual. She liked the feeling that swelled in her chest. Eli sat at the table with them and ate.
“I wish it were nicer out so I could take you all on a trail ride.”
“I think I’ll skip getting on a horse,” Heidi muttered.
“Not your thing?” Eli asked, locking eyes on Heidi.
“Not at all.”
“I’ve ridden before,” Lila added. “I was a kid, maybe nine or ten. I barely remember it, except my horse was named Pooh.”
Eli chuckled. “Come back up in the summer or late spring and I’ll take you on a trail ride.”
“I’d love that,” Lila added, her lips curling into a smile.
It was so nice to see that. For a few hours there, Ann had worried she’d never see Lila relaxed again. She never knew how to react when her partners were triggered into flashbacks, not during them or after. She constantly stumbled with it, so she was glad the night before when Heidi had taken over and taken that role on herself. It eased the burden from Ann, although she wanted to learn.
“Have you ever ridden a horse, Ann?” Eli’s question jarred her out of her thoughts.
Ann nodded. “We grew up on a farm.”
Lila twisted her head, her eyes wide. “You did?”
“Yeah, not a full working farm, but big enough that we had a couple horses that I’d ride out in the fields behind the house.”
“I didn’t know that.”
“She knows how to milk a cow, too,” Heidi stated.
All of them started at her, Eli with wonder, Lila with surprise, and Ann wondering if Heidi even realized what she’d just said and the innuendo that could and most definitely should be understood. She kept her mouth shut, not wanting to be the one to drag them down that road.
After dinner, they helped Eli clean up. They were going to have a big dinner that night for Thanksgiving, which Ann thought none of them were super excited about, except perhaps Eli. They moved into the den as Eli prepped the turkey and set it in the oven. She’d told them the rest could wait until later.
Sitting in the front of the fireplace was so reminiscent of all that had happened in the few short days since they’d been there. She hoped the conversation would be vastly easier this time around because she wasn’t sure she had the energy to start back where they had begun when they’d arrived.
Heidi touched Ann’s thigh lightly, getting her attention. Ann understood that look. Heidi wanted to talk about something, but she didn’t want to say it out loud. It would be far easier if she would, because silent conversations were never good between the two of them. Way too many misunderstandings.
“How are you feeling, Lila?” Heidi finally asked, turning her attention to the beautiful young blonde on the chair next to the couch.
“Much better than last night. Thank you.”
“You up for a talk?”
Lila visibly tensed, and Ann winced. That was not the smoothest transition Heidi had ever done. Usually she had a lot more tact, but Ann supposed lack of sleep could account for her bluntness.
“It’s an easy talk, I promise.”