“I imagine. You must be a very strong woman to see some of the things you do. I can’t imagine walking into those situations and not coming out jaded or angry.”
“Oh.” Heidi’s chest tightened. She cocked her head to the side, making eye contact with those deep blue eyes again. “I’m not sure I’d call myself strong.”
“You have to be. There’s no other explanation for it.”
Heidi’s cheeks heated with a flush. She had no idea what to say, but the compliment was just that and nothing more. “Well, thank you.”
“It’s well deserved.” Lila winked. “However, my lunch break is over, and I’ve got to get running to put out this fire.”
“Right.” Heidi stayed put as Lila gathered up what was left of her lunch before she reached over and pressed a hand to Heidi’s left hand.
“You really are strong, even if you don’t believe it sometimes.”
Heidi’s heart clenched.Who was this woman?Lila stepped away with a grin and a lightness to her step that Heidi envied. She couldn’t remember any time in her life when she’d been so carefree and jovial. She’d always been weighed down no matter how she tried to lighten the load.
She didn’t even realize she was still staring at the space Lila had left when Ann showed up. “Lunch?”
“Uh…yes.” Heidi pulled the bag of food over and started to get their meal out. She tried her best to focus on Ann, but that petite blonde kept floating back through her brain.
“You got my favorite.” Ann’s eyes lit up as she saw the small container with the Reuben from the local diner they’d found years ago.
“I did.” Pleased with herself that she could at least do one thing right that day, Heidi grabbed her avocado and cucumber sandwich, sliding it in front of her. “I thought this might be a good surprise.”
“It definitely is. Thank you.” Ann’s hand on top of hers was cold, such a contrast from Lila’s which had been warm, firm, and tight when she’d gripped Heidi’s fingers.
Shaking the thought, Heidi focused on her partner. “How’s work going so far?”
“Not bad at all. Just like any old day. No major emergencies yet, which is always welcome.”
“Same here. Maybe the world has decided to play nice for one day.”
“Maybe it has.” Ann lifted her sandwich to her mouth and took a bite. “God, this is so good. Just what I needed.”
“Me too.” And she meant it. Heidi had felt so alone lately, so left out in the dust and disconnected from the reality of their relationship. She’d needed to do something to try and reel that in, drag their relationship to the front and center of her life again. It was too easy to get lost in the comings and goings of life and work, and she didn’t want that. She could only hope Ann felt the same, but at the very least, she could try and make up for her failings.
Ann rolled her neck as she went in for another large bite. “I was thinking maybe we should go on a date soon, like a real date, not just some dinner we halfway plan last minute.”
“That’d be nice.” Maybe Heidi wasn’t the only one feeling the chasm between them. Maybe this was Ann trying to reach out for her, too. “What would we do?”
Ann snorted. “Hell if I know.”
Heidi swallowed down the lump in her throat. That was what happened nearly every time they tried to make a date. They got to the point of wanting to plan it, but nothing ever came of their talk. She focused on her lunch, trying to enjoy the few minutes of time they did have together. Lila popped into her mind again, the curve of her hips, yes, but something in the way she looked so sincerely at Heidi when she gave her compliments before she’d walked away. Heidi couldn’t remember the last time Ann had looked at her like that. Oh, but she used to, and they had both lived for the days when they could connect like that.
“Let’s do it this weekend,” Heidi interjected.
“Do what?”
“The date.”
“Oh! Yes, let’s. Except…” Ann paused and furrowed her brow. “I think I’m working this weekend.”
“Are you? I don’t remember seeing it on the calendar.” Heidi’s stomach dropped. This happened every time, and she shouldn’t have been so stupid as to get her hopes up.
Ann nodded. “I picked up some PRN in emergency.”
“What? Why?”
She sighed. “I thought we could use the extra cash.”