Ann was at a loss for words. She wanted to believe every single thing Heidi told her, but in the back of her mind, somewhere, she worried it wasn’t because of her, it was because of this new woman, someone who finally showed Heidi all the possibilities of love. Nodding, Ann retreated into herself, hiding her own worries and fear from Heidi as best as she could.
Heidi shifted on the couch, swinging her legs up to rest them over Ann’s. “Will you stay out here with me a bit? I know you have to go in early, but I was hoping for some time with you.”
“Yeah.” Ann cleared her throat. “I can do that.”
Heidi leaned in and kissed her cheek. “The other night, when we had sex, that was really good, right?”
“Yeah, I thought so.”
Heidi traced her tongue along the shell of Ann’s ear. “I enjoyed it a lot.”
“Did you? You were smiling through the whole thing, so I had hoped I was doing something right.” Ann let Heidi do whatever she wanted. This was a whole new side of her that she’d never experienced or even seen.
“I was?” Heidi seemed genuinely surprised, though it didn’t shock Ann. Heidi could never tell someone what she was feeling when. She was always in the dark about her own emotions as much as she was intuitive about others. Ann always found it an interesting contradiction.
“You were, and you seemed like you were enjoying it.”
“What do you mean?”
“You were moving around a lot more.”
“Interesting.” Heidi went back to tracing the shell of Ann’s ear.
“You keep doing that and I’m going to want something else before bed.”
“I might be up for that, but I’d rather just snuggle.”
Ann turned to her slowly. “I think that’s the first time you haven’t flat out told me no when I commented about sex.”
Heidi shrugged. “I told you. I’m trying something new.”
“Well, I like it so far.” The change was jarring, but it was nice to have a fresh moment of true honesty from Heidi. It wasn’t a no. It wasn’t Ann’s fault. She simply didn’t want sex but still wanted intimacy. Ann could give her that.
Heidi kissed down Ann’s neck to the top of her tank top before she moved and settled against Ann. “Let’s go on a date tomorrow night. I can meet you in town after work.”
“You really want to go on a date?”
“Yes.” Heidi smiled.
Ann settled into the couch. “What would we do?”
“Dinner? I don’t know. Let’s do something.”
“There aren’t many vegan places to eat in town, you know that.”
“I can always just eat a salad. Come on. Why are you being so resistant to this?”
Ann sighed as she mulled it over. She wasn’t sure she had an answer to Heidi’s question, at least not immediately. She was going to have to think that one over. She wanted to be all in, but something held her back. “Let’s go then. I’ll figure out a place.”
“Call me when you get off work, and I’ll come meet you wherever.”
“Okay.”
Ann wrapped her arm around Heidi until they were settled together on the couch. She liked the idea that Heidi was willing to change, willing to open up to her and try something new, but she still couldn’t help think that it was because of this new woman in her life. Ann kissed Heidi’s head.
“I love you,” Ann whispered.
“I love you, too.” Heidi snuggled in closer, relaxing completely into Ann’s side.