Lila stepped in close, tucking Heidi’s arm into hers as they walked toward the front door. The building was an old brick, one of the first built in town. Over the years it had been any number of things, but this was one of the longest standing. They stepped inside to find the bar warm and filled with a light crowd of people, but it was still early on Friday night.
Lila held Heidi close, wanting to make sure she was comfortable being around so many people. She led the way to a table in the back corner, where they sat next to each other each so they could face the door. Lila had no idea if that was Heidi’s preferred place to sit, but it was definitely hers. Their shoulders and thighs brushed together as they got comfortable and removed their jackets.
“They have a vegetable appetizer thing with pita bread and hummus I thought you might like.”
“That sounds wonderful,” Heidi’s voice dipped.
“Good.” Lila waved over a waiter, and they placed their orders. “I’m glad you could come out on such short notice.”
“My partner is working tonight, so it was perfect timing.”
Lila grinned. “Good to know she works weekends.”
“Sometimes. Sometimes she doesn’t. It all just depends. She’s always home at night, though.”
“Don’t like sleeping by yourself?” Lila raised an eyebrow.
Heidi shook her head. “There was a time when I wanted nothing other than to sleep alone, but after meeting her, I never wanted to be alone at night.”
“Understandable, with all you’ve gone through.” Lila took Heidi’s hand in her own and folded their fingers together under the table. Heidi gave her a gentle squeeze and kept her hand there, so Lila figured it was an acceptable move. “What do you like to do? For fun?”
“Oh…um…I work mostly or clean the house. We don’t do a lot of dates or outings.”
“Really?” Lila narrowed her gaze. “You don’t have any fun.”
“Not really. I’m pretty boring, as you’ll find out.”
“Somehow I doubt that.”
Their food and drinks were set in front of them, and when Heidi didn’t release her grasp on Lila’s hand, Lila knew they were doing well so far. Physical connection was typically a good indicator of emotional connection.
“I like to go to concerts, although there aren’t many here. I have to go to Wichita or Denver sometimes for them,” Lila attempted to make pleasant conversation.
“Do you go often?”
“When I can.” Lila shrugged. “I haven’t been to one in a couple months, been a bit preoccupied here.”
“With what?”
“Another woman I’m dating.” Heidi tensed, and Lila leaned in pressing a kiss to her cheek. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m fine with you dating other women, please don’t take my tenseness as that. I just didn’t think of you actually being with other women.” Heidi’s lips twitched. “It’s kind of odd to think of the woman I’m dating having sex with someone else.”
“I guess it can be in some ways. I find it exhilarating.”
“Do you also like to watch then?” Heidi winked before she grabbed her drink.
Oh, they were definitely making progress here. “I do, when fully permitted by those actively engaged.”
“I’ve never done that.” Heidi shuddered.
“Because it’s something you experienced you didn’t want to?” Lila not-so-subtly asked, allowing Heidi to open up a little more if she wanted or not.
“Partly,” Heidi replied, thinking deeply. “Mostly I think it’s because sex makes me so uncomfortable that the thought of doing it while someone else is watching makes it that much more stressful.”
“Oof. I can understand that.” Lila picked up Heidi’s hand and kissed her knuckles. “Would you ever want to?”
“Maybe? I’m not super experienced when it comes to sex, not like it seems you are.” Heidi’s tone dropped, nearly to a whisper, but Lila was pretty sure it wasn’t because of the topic and far more because of shame.