They switched positions again, and Ann rinsed the soap from her hair. Heidi seemed to watch appreciatively as her body moved, as the water sluiced over her skin, but there always seemed to be a giant wall between them. Kissing Heidi again, Ann grinned. “Want to take this somewhere else?”
“Maybe,” Heidi answered, her tone lowering before rising on the end of the word.
Once again, Ann wondered what that even meant. She went with it, trying to see if Heidi would be up for more than a shared shower. When their lips touched this time, she sensed the fire and urgency behind the kiss. She had guessed right this time. Cupping Heidi’s cheek, Ann kissed her deeply, their tongues tangling for a quick minute before Heidi flipped them and stood under the spray. Ann gave her a curious look.
“I mean, we could stay in here if you prefer,” Ann murmured.
“That could be interesting. It’s been even longer since we tried shower sex.” Heidi’s cheeks were red, but it was probably from the steam and temperature of the water.
“Triedbeing the operative word there.” Ann gave a snort. Heidi wasn’t wrong. They had tried shower sex, but since Heidi struggled with orgasming and patience and showers were awkward anyway, they’d given up before they’d gotten very far. The bed and mouths were always better than hands and fingers.
“True.” Heidi reached out and gripped Ann’s hand. “I guess the bed would be the better choice.”
“Right.” Ann kissed Heidi’s cheek and turned off the water.
Together they got out and dried off. Ann hung her towel to dry while Heidi kept hers wrapped around her middle. They were always like that, complete opposites. Ann walked unabashedly naked through the house while Heidi insisted on always covering her body. When they got to the bed, Heidi dropped the towel on the corner of the footboard and climbed under the covers.
Ann took the hint and followed, wrapping an arm around Heidi’s front to pull her in closer. This was going to have to be a slow work up, like it always was. She kissed Heidi’s shoulder and closed her eyes as she directed her fingers over Heidi’s body. This was the perfect way to end the night. If only she knew Heidi was doing it out of love rather than pity that they hadn’t had sex in over a month. Pushing that thought from her mind, Ann focused on Heidi.
CHAPTER2
Letting out a slow,deliberate breath with her eyes closed as she lay in bed, Heidi tried to center herself. It was her typical practice every morning when her alarm woke her up just before five. It had taken her decades to develop this practice. It helped keep her centered every day, helped make her work and life flow just right, and helped with the tremors she fought to keep at bay.
No light shone through the blinds so early in the morning. Fall was a time of year Heidi was not fond of, when days would shorten and nights elongate, when daylight savings hadn’t hit yet to bump up the sunlight. She missed the summers, when she’d wake up before the sun and see the orange and pink hues every morning as they painted the sky from her bed instead of office. Those sunrises were breathtaking, just as much as Ann was.
Opening her eyes, Heidi turned her head to look at her longtime partner. It was hard to imagine they’d been together fifteen years already. She longed to reach over and touch her, to run her fingers through Ann’s short dark brown hair which had a little more salt and pepper every year. Heidi loved it. Ann wore her age well, and even her gravelly personality couldn’t keep the sexiness away.
Heidi had fallen in love with Ann the first moment they’d met. It’d been so clichéd at the time, lesbians falling in love like that, but she’d known from their first date. It’d taken three months for her to work up the courage to tell her, to have sex with her, and to properly love her, and Ann had been so patient through it all.
Heidi’s tongue dashed across her lips as she stared at Ann’s sleeping form.What had happened in fifteen years that had put such distance between them?Such strains on their relationship.Heidi wanted to reach over, touch Ann’s cheek, wake her up, make love to her for the few hours they had before she had to shower and go to work, but every nerve in her body told her not to. Every time she had sex it was that same damn battle.
Sighing, Heidi got out of the bed as quietly as she could so she wouldn’t wake Ann, who had come home late, and walked barefoot through the house to the kitchen. She turned on the coffee maker so Ann would have hot coffee when she woke and started water for her tea. She made their lunches for the day, and finally sipped her steeped tea as the first slivers of light crested the horizon.
She should really do something for Ann that week, something to make her feel she was special and to feel just how much Heidi really did love her. It was so hard sometimes between the two of them, and their work schedules conflicted so often, especially when Heidi got called in or Ann picked up an extra shift to let someone go on vacation. There had been a lot of that lately.
With everything prepared for the day, Heidi snuck into the bedroom, grabbed her clothes, and took them into the bathroom to shower and get ready. She would surprise Ann for lunch on her next shift. That would be sweet—something special. She hadn’t done it in probably a year, either, so Ann would not be expecting it. Heidi got in her car to go to work only thirty minutes before Ann was due to wake up.
Two days passed before she managed to figure out when she’d have time for a lunch date, but she’d looked through her schedule and found one day that would work for the next week. Luckily, the hospital was a place she was familiar with. As a social worker, Heidi often had to go there to help a client or a kid, advocate for them, be with them through examinations if they wanted her there, and talk with doctors to get evidence for her cases.
However, it was rare that she was in the ICU unless she was there to spend some time with Ann, which she was that day. The double doors to the ICU were open, which was only the case during visiting hours. Heidi stepped through them and was glad to see Ann at the main desk, her nose buried in a patient file. She loved to be in the thick of things. Ann was utterly brilliant, and she had worked hard to get where she was.
“Hey there,” Heidi said, trying to make it come off as teasing, but she was pretty sure it was a failure.
Ann jerked her head up, eyes wide, those dark brown eyes filled with surprise. “Heidi! What are you doing here?”
“I thought I would surprise you for lunch.” Heidi lifted her hand to reveal the bag of takeout from one of their favorite restaurants in town. “I hope you’ve got some time.”
“Really?” Ann’s eyes lightened, and she straightened her shoulders as she looked around. “You’re too good to me.”
Heidi moved in to lean against the counter. “So am I staying or leaving?”
Ann checked the watch on her left wrist before looking around again. “Let me see when I can sneak out of here for a few minutes. I’ve got to find Silvia.”
“Okay.” Heidi watched as Ann walked away, the scrubs not doing much for her figure, but Ann was all business in them. It gave her an air of power that Heidi was helpless to resist. She was so distracted in her thoughts that she hadn’t even realized Ann had come back.
“I can be down in fifteen.”
“Cafeteria, then?”