“They kidnapped you?”
Heidi’s shoulders tightened, the muscles in her chest so taut it was difficult to breathe. “Yes. And I ended up pregnant. My foster dad found out and was really mad about it. He already…he already had clients come and see me, and when I started to show a little, he modified his clientele.”
“Heidi,” Lila’s voice broke. “No one knew?”
“No. We hid it any time I had visitations or someone came by to check in. The system is so different now than it was then. For good reasons.”
Lila squeezed her fingers. “What happened? To the baby?”
“He died. I gave birth to him in my bedroom by myself, and he died about ten minutes later. He didn’t look right.” Heidi sniffled.
“Did you name him?”
“No.” Heidi shook her head. “No, I couldn’t do that.”
“Did you get to bury him?”
The tears in Heidi’s eyes were enough of an answer. “No, he took him somewhere. I don’t know where, and I never asked. I couldn’t.”
“Heidi.” Lila leaned up. “Can I hug you?”
Heidi nodded, falling into Lila’s warm embrace as she wrapped her up and held her close. She let the tears fall freely, although she didn’t sob. She kept it together enough for that. She would not break apart. Moving away, Heidi brushed her fingers across her cheeks. “The other week brought a lot of this up again, and aside from that, before we do anything, I need you to know what happened, that I’m not the easiest person to be with.”
“It just makes you who you are, Heidi, nothing else. I don’t do sexy photos or selfies ever. You can understand why, I’m sure, and so I’ll respect whatever boundaries you put into place and never question them. Just tell me what they are.”
“Okay.” Heidi settled, the muscles in her chest and shoulders loosening as her comfort and trust grew. What she’d shared with Lila was only a small part of her story, but it was the main instigating factor in a lot of things. She didn’t need to share the rest, not now. Maybe someday she would, but Lila knew enough for the moment.
“I’m glad you came over today. I can’t imagine carrying that weight around with you for the last few weeks.”
Heidi snorted. “Yeah, it’s been rough. Reliving those moments is not something I’d wish on anyone.”
“Have you shared all this with your partner?”
Giving Lila a suspicious look, Heidi shook her head.
“You should. I’m sure it’d give her a lot of insight into your mind and heart. I find it’s always better to share, even if it’s hard.”
“Maybe you’re right.”
Lila smiled. “I know I’m right. Aside from needing company, did you want to do anything specific today?”
“No. I just…I wanted to get to know you better.”
“Perfect.” Lila took Heidi’s hand. “Then let’s be lazy, watch a movie or two, and hang out for hours.”
“Sounds good.” Heidi had no idea how Lila managed to swing from intense conversation to calm, but it felt so natural. She’d shared a moment of her hideous past, something she hadn’t shared with anyone since she’d told Ann fifteen years before, but it felt so natural to have a lazy day after talking about something so big.
They sat together on the couch, and by the end of the first movie Lila had chosen—a light romantic comedy—Heidi was snuggled up against Lila. They took a break for snacks, and when they started the second movie with popcorn in their laps, Lila settled her head on Heidi’s shoulder. The second movie ended with no more flourish.
The hours they’d shared had set Heidi at ease. All of the tension she’d carried with her was gone. Feeling brave and confident, as though a massive weight had been lifted, Heidi shifted and lifted Lila’s chin with a finger as the end credits rolled.
“May I kiss you?”
“Absolutely,” Lila answered, those plump lips curving upward.
Heidi listed forward, their mouths touching so tenderly and lightly. Her eyelids fluttered closed as she relaxed into the move. It felt so odd to be kissing someone other than Ann, but so exciting at the same moment. Lila’s lips parted, and Heidi moved to deepen the kiss, tracing the tip of her tongue around Lila’s mouth before moving in to explore even more.
Lila shifted, moving to straddle Heidi and sit in her lap. The kiss turned feverish, and Heidi struggled to keep up. She curled her fingers into Lila’s sides as her mind spun in every direction possible. Lila slowed and broke the kiss, pressing her lips gingerly to Heidi’s cheeks.