“I just want a shower.”
“All right.” Ann shut her mouth, pressing her lips together hard to keep herself from saying anything else that would push Heidi further away. Heidi said nothing else as she left the room. Ann sank into the couch, covering her face in her hands as tears stung at her eyes.
What was wrong with her?She tried all the time to make Heidi understand just how much she loved her, but it seemed like she failed every step she took. Why was everything so complicated between the two of them? In some ways—the same ways it was complicated with Heidi—it was so easy with Lila. But Ann could never deny the fact she loved Heidi with every fiber of her being.
Ann wallowed until she heard the shower turn off at least twenty minutes later. Before Heidi came out and scowled at her, she dragged her butt off the couch and slipped into the kitchen to clean up from dinner. She knew the best way to keep Heidi sane and less stressed was to have a clean house, and if that was the only thing she was going to manage to accomplish that week, she was going to do it the best she could.
* * *
Ann didn’t make it Friday. Or Saturday. But Sunday, she drove to Lila’s apartment. Ever since she’d tried to wring emotions from Heidi, her mood had only gotten worse. Lila had been right all along. She needed to take care of herself in order to take care of Heidi. She didn’t have a lot of time to spare, but it was going to have to be enough to rejuvenate her mind and get her emotions in check.
Her car was still chilled by the time she parked in front of Lila’s building. The texting back and forth to ramp up the sexual tension had lasted three days, and Ann was ready to burst from it. She hadn’t had a moment to herself to take care of anything, fearing what Heidi would think if she walked in on her—that it really was all about sex.
Ann’s cheeks heated. She had to figure this out at some point. They wouldn’t be able to make it another fifteen years, let alone the next five, if they didn’t learn how to talk to each other and show each other their love far more easily. Lila’s apartment looked so warm and inviting, not only because it was literally warm but because Lila was so much easier in some ways. She didn’t come with the complications of trauma Heidi did.
Lila talked about her trauma, openly and freely. She shared what she did and didn’t do sexually, what she was comfortable with in a relationship and what was off-limits. Heidi was a mess, and Ann’s best guess was she didn’t even know what she wanted or what she liked. Still, Ann loved her. She wanted to be partners with her. Fifteen years ago, she’d made that decision, and it wasn’t one she was going to back out on—ever.
Ann knocked on the door, knowing Lila would answer right away. Sure enough, the door opened, and she was dragged inside by a fist in the front of her jacket. Ann made it three steps inside, enough for the door to be shut and locked, before she was pressed against the wall. Lila covered her entirely, their mouths mashing together in a heated kiss with no words exchanged.
Ann moaned, running her fingers up Lila only to find she was already naked. Her brain struggled to catch up with sensations and changes and thoughts and anything she could grasp onto, but Lila pressed sensually against her, hips to hips and breasts to breasts. Lila jerked back, grinning.
“Hey.”
“Hi,” Ann answered, at a loss for any other words.
“You’re damn sexy in scrubs, did you know that?”
She didn’t. At least she didn’t think she was, but Lila apparently did. Still her mind struggled to keep up with what was happening. This was exactly what she’d come there for, and Lila was going to deliver with a bang like she always did. Lila’s fingers were at the front of her pants, pulling so her hand could slide under the material.
“Want me to fuck you silly?”
Ann gulped.
“Say it,” Lila demanded.
“Yes.”
“Good.” A devilish smile appeared on Lila’s lips just before she slid her hand down farther, inserting a single finger inside Ann while her thumb rubbed circles. It was rough at first, hard, uncoordinated. But it didn’t take long for Lila to find a rhythm.
Ann threw her head back against the wall, hitting it hard enough to cause a thump. She arched toward Lila who pressed into her even more to push her back, lips pressing to Ann’s neck. Closing her eyes, Ann focused entirely on the sensations running through her body, the twitch of nerves between her legs that built suddenly.
Lila’s skin was hot against hers, seeping through the thin layer of her scrubs. God, this woman could do things to her in seconds, things she had only ever dreamed about. Ann rutted her hips, she gripped onto Lila’s waist to hold herself steady, she whined.
“Like that, do you?”
“Yes,” Ann hissed. “Don’t stop, please.”
“Not planning on it, gorgeous.”
The endearment sent a shudder through Ann’s body. Lila was always full of compliments. She doled them out every second she had. It warmed Ann to think that someone so young, so free, so wonderful would think of her like that in any way.
“You make me feel so good,” Ann whispered, meaning physically, emotionally, and mentally—though she wasn’t sure which way Lila would take it. She could explain later if it came up again, but right now, she was so focused on Lila adding in a second finger. The pacing increased. “I’m so close.”
“Then let go.”
Ann pulled her lip between her teeth and dug her nails harder into Lila’s sides, holding on as tightly as she could. She followed the sensations ricocheting through her, letting them all drag to where Lila’s thumb pressed hard circles. In what felt like seconds, her orgasm washed through her. Her entire body tightened as her breathing hiccuped.
Lila pressed gentle kisses to her cheeks, lips, forehead, neck—anywhere she could reach while Ann slowly came down off the high Lila had given her. When she finally felt able, Ann opened her eyes and smiled. “I was not expecting this.”