She ate the leftovers from Heidi’s dinner as quickly as possible while Heidi straightened the living room. They worked in sync in the quiet, something Ann had gotten used to over the years—Heidi always doing and her always watching. She couldn’t quite figure it out. Never had been able to.
With her dishes in the sink, Ann touched Heidi’s shoulder to get her attention as she bent over a box. Heidi stiffened, her muscles tightening under her fingertips unexpectedly. Her day must have been rougher than she was letting on. Oftentimes Ann wondered if being a social worker was the best choice for Heidi. She dealt with and saw so much that she couldn’t share.
Leaning in, Ann pressed her lips gently to Heidi’s in a sweet kiss. “Will you be coming to bed soon?”
“Yes. I have an early morning. Need to take some kids over to Ford County.”
“Transfer?”
“For now at least. They’re going to a more long-term emergency placement.”
Ann sighed. “All right. I’m off tomorrow, so I’ll finish up with the closet in our room at least.”
“Thanks.” Heidi moved in, kissing Ann briefly.
It left a lingering hope but also sadness in the pit of Ann’s stomach. She couldn’t remember the last time Heidi had kissed her passionately, the last time they had really connected physically. It wasn’t that they didn’t touch or have sex, but it was all so routine and normal. It was never spontaneous or out of the blue, and every time, she felt as though Heidi held back, trying only to please her and nothing else, like she didn’t get anything from it.
Trying again for what felt like the millionth time, Ann cupped Heidi’s cheek, kissing her harder this time and holding her close. Heidi tensed, but Ann pushed through it because she always did. Heidi’s eyelids fluttered shut, and Ann kissed her again, this time a quick peck on her lips and her forehead as Heidi’s hand covered Ann’s on her cheek.
“I love you,” Ann whispered, and she meant it. She’d never known a love deeper than what she’d experienced with Heidi, an emotional connection as strong as the one they had. They knew everything about each other even if they didn’t understand it.
“Love you, too,” Heidi whispered. “Will you have time this weekend? Maybe time to go to town and have lunch?”
“I should. I’m off Sunday.”
“Good.” Heidi’s eyes lit up.
Ann moved in to kiss her again, this time lingering and hoping Heidi would join her in bed and leave the mess in the living room for another day, but she knew her partner. Heidi would stay up and slide under the covers late. Ann might or might not wake up when she joined, and Heidi would likely be gone by the time Ann woke up in the morning. It was their routine. It had been for years.
* * *
A week had passed. They managed to clean up the closet in their room but then all cleaning had halted, as it normally did when Heidi’s bursts of energy dissipated. Ann drove the familiar road to work, started her shift, and was halfway through it before she realized how much time had passed and she still hadn’t paused for lunch.
The cute little blonde woman who did their supply orders came up to the nurses’ station and gave her a bright grin. Lila was always a welcome distraction. Grinning back and pushing at her short hair as the strands went wild around her ears, Ann tried to look her best. She had her list ready, but she could handle a little flirting too. It would make her day go so much smoother.
Lila bent over the counter with a smile on her plump lips, lips that were just so damn kissable. Ann grinned at her. “Hey there.”
“Hey back,” Lila said, her eyes lighting with humor and teasing. “I’m here for the order.”
“I’ve got it.” Ann rifled through papers on the desk, trying to find the piece of paper. She had just seen it. Moving one binder and another binder along with some patient files, she muttered to herself, “This is ridiculous. No one cleans this shit.”
Lila chuckled. “It’s always a disaster up here.”
“Not always,” Ann countered. “Only whenoneparticular person works.”
“You?”
Ann stopped looking for the paper and raised her gaze to Lila with a fake glare. “How do you figure that?”
“Because you’re the one who is supposed to have the list and you lost it.” Lila folded her hands over the tall edge of the counter and leaned in again. “Am I wrong?”
“No.” Ann was perturbed that Lila was able to read her so easily. She was extremely organized when it came to patient care. She had to be, working in ICU. But the rest of the papers? The protocols, the standard operating procedure booklets, all of that went to the wayside in favor of caring for her patients.
Focusing on the papers in front of her, she shuffled some more and found the handwritten list on white copy paper she’d grabbed from the printer at the last minute during the shift changeover. She skimmed it quickly to see if she needed to add anything from the last few hours, noted she didn’t and slid it next to Lila on the counter.
“There we are.”
“Glad to have it.” Lila didn’t make to grab the paper. “Has it been a busy week up here?”