“So you do a date during her lunch break, is that it?”
“Both of ours.”
“Must be hard to find time outside of that.”
“Timing is always something we have to overcome, no matter what the relationship it is.” Heidi fiddled with the soda cup, twisting it in circles. She was suddenly nervous, her stomach roiling at the conversation.But everything was fine, wasn’t it?They weren’t doing anything that would harm her relationship with Ann. She’d never so much as dare to dream of doing that.
“It is, but if you really love or like someone and are interested in continuing a relationship with them, you’ll make time.”
“That’s what we’re doing now. Making time.”
“Good for you two, then.” Lila’s cocky grin slid in place, and Heidi couldn’t quite figure out why it was there.
What had she missed in the exchange that would put such a smile on Lila’s face? Either way, no matter what it was, she liked it, and that wasn’t something she could deny. She liked the attention Lila gave her, the prodding questions that pushed her to dare to go deeper than she initially wanted to. Lila challenged her. Not only to think deeper but to explore her thoughts and emotions in a way she never had before. It was an odd feeling, one that she equally resisted and looked forward to at the same time.
Heidi shifted. “We try.”
“I meant that sincerely,” Lila added.
“All right,” Heidi agreed, though she wasn’t totally convinced.
“Give me your phone.”
“What?”
“Your phone.”
Hesitating, Heidi slid her phone across the table.
“Unlock it, silly.” Lila handed it back.
Heidi entered her passcode and unlocked the phone before handing it once more to Lila. Lila put in a phone number with her name, then dialed.
“There, now we have each other’s numbers. Feel free to call me if you want. Sometimes it’s nice to know you’re not alone in this big old scary world.”
“That’s true.” Heidi stared at her phone like it was the enemy. Ann wouldn’t care that she had Lila’s phone number. The problem was how much more Lila was going to pry into her life. And Heidi was pretty sure that was going to be a lot.
“I better get back to work. It was nice running into you again.”
“Same,” Heidi murmured, still staring at her phone. She barely even noticed as Lila left, but quiet settled over her as the rest of the cafeteria buzzed with conversation and noise. It took her another minute before she pulled out her sandwich and took a bite. Lila was interesting in a way Heidi struggled to put into words.
Still, she was intrigued.
What could become of their friendship?Would it be comforting to be able to talk to someone who understood so viscerally what she had experienced? Even then, Lila’s abuse was so limited compared to her own. Heidi wanted to sigh, but she held it in, also wanting to minimize the emotions floating through her chest and into her brain. She didn’t quite understand them and wasn’t sure how to work through them just yet.
Heidi didn’t even taste the sandwich as it lingered on her tongue before she swallowed. She stared at the odd gray hues of the table, not seeing anything as her mind spun circles about Lila, the possibilities of what and who she was and what that would mean.What would it mean?Heidi was lost in her thoughts and confused when the table bumped and moved toward her.
Jerking her gaze up, she landed on Ann already sitting across from her with her sandwich pulled in front of her as she unwrapped it. Pushing the thoughts of Lila from her mind, Heidi focused on Ann, the beautiful woman she’d been with for nearly sixteen years. They had both changed so much in those years, but at the same time, they hadn’t at all—especially her.
When had they stopped trying? When had everything become so stagnant?
“Glad you could join the living,” Ann muttered.
“Sorry, I was lost in thought,” Heidi replied, sipping her soda to wet her tongue. “Busy day?”
Ann nodded. “Way busier than expected.”
Heidi didn’t say anything. She wasn’t sure what to respond. Ann always seemed busy when Heidi made an effort, and it came off as if the planned lunch date was an inconvenience. How was it ever supposed to work if they didn’t talk or spend time together? Heidi’s stomach gurgled unhappily as she took a small bite of her lunch. Her appetite was gone, and all she could think about was what she could do to make it better.