“Yeah?” Her cheeks burned, but not from the tears she’d spilled. They burned from passion, from arousal, from confession.
“I only want to do this if you’re ready.”
“Oh.” Azalea sighed, deflated. She straightened her back and stepped away from Jewel slightly. “I don’t think I’ll ever be ready for these changes, not all of them. Some yes, but the others? What will you do if they fire you?”
“I’ll find another job.” Jewel stared at her like that was a stupid question.
Azalea huffed. “It won’t be that easy. If you’re out, they can ruin your career.”
“I might not find another job here.” Jewel’s voice was so quiet, Azalea almost didn’t hear her.
That was part of the problem, wasn’t it? Living there for seventeen years, Azalea didn’t want to move. She didn’t want to leave the home she’d built, but this, a relationship beyond friendship, could mean she’d have to take that step, and she wasn’t sure she was ready for that.
Jewel reached for Azalea’s fingers again. “There are more gay people in this town than you realize, Lea. Trust me on that one.”
Azalea gave her a hard look. “Like who?”
“Just trust me.”
“But what if—”
“Lea. Stop. Stop thinking about what-ifs for once in your life, please. Listen to me. I’m pretty damn sure I know how I feel about you. There isn’t a whole lot of wavering on that front. I’m willing to take risks for you, to have you in my life, to be with you, to love you.” Jewel curved a finger around Azalea’s cheek. “Do you want that, too?”
Azalea nodded. “Yeah, I do.”
“Then let it happen. We’ll figure out the rest as it happens or as it doesn’t happen. Right now, in this moment, I want to be with you. I want you, all of you.”
“Okay.”
“Stop fighting it.”
“Okay.” Azalea drew in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “Okay,” she repeated with more resolve this time. Jewel was right. She had to stop fighting everything she was feeling. Raising her gaze up, a salacious smile crossed her lips, and it seemed to take Jewel off-guard—exactly her intention.
Gripping onto Jewel’s overcoat, she pulled the buttons to open it and reached in to wrap her arms around Jewel’s back, dragging the two of them together. Jewel stumbled slightly before catching on to what was happening and plastering Azalea between the closet door and her body.
“I promise you it wasn’t pity.”
Jewel grinned. “It was a fleeting thought.”
“Fleeting nonetheless. It was not pity.”
“Then what was it?” Jewel cocked her head to the side as her hands rested at Azalea’s waist.
Azalea grinned, her eyes twinkling and dancing all over Jewel’s beautiful face. When had she not seen how beautiful this woman was? Because she couldn’t even remember anymore. The squareness to her jaw, the style of her hair, the depth in her gaze. All of it made her that much more beautiful than anyone else.
“Lea?”
Azalea’s tongue dashed across her lips as she leaned in, her mouth brushing the shell of Jewel’s ear as she whispered. “It felt amazing every time you touched me.”
Jewel shuddered, her entire body shifting in Azalea’s grasp.
“It was perfect even if the timing was slightly off.” Azalea pulled the edge of Jewel’s earlobe and stud earring between her teeth, sucking lightly before letting it loose. Jewel’s breath was hot against her cheek as they stood pressed against each other.
Azalea’s hands shook as she reached for the buttons on her shirt, pulling them open slowly from the top down. She kept her gaze on Jewel’s face, fascinated by the way Jewel’s eyes were locked on the movement of her hands. “I wanted to be with you. I still want to be with you.”
Jewel swallowed. The last button stuck slightly, and Jewel reached out to help, pulling it loose and parting the fabric. She raked her gaze over Azalea’s chest.
“I’m so scared of the unknown, J. I don’t want you to get hurt.”