“But I dated him.”
“But I know what he went through in high school, and trust me, this is tame compared to what he was like then. He always scared me back then.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I wasn’t going to interfere in your relationship, J. I’m still not. You can date whoever you want to date whether I like them or not.”
“But you’re my best friend.”
“Right. I am.” Azalea held back what she really wanted to say, what she really wanted to ask. Were they only friends?
“This is so stupid. All because he had to be an asshole and ask where my girlfriend was. I should have just held my damn tongue instead of saying you were my best friend and not my girlfriend.”
Tears stung Azalea’s eyes without warning. That comment hurt far more than anything Brady had said, and it did answer the question she hadn’t even gotten the courage to ask. They were best friends, first and last. She never wanted to risk losing her best friend, and now she knew she wouldn’t have to. Friends was how Jewel thought of them.
“What just happened?” Jewel stiffened. “What did I say?”
“Nothing,” Azalea dismissed. “Do you want more coffee?”
“No, don’t do that.”
“Do what?” Azalea stood up and grabbed both empty mugs. She ignored Jewel as she walked into the kitchen to take a moment for herself. She had to get her emotions under control. She had to figure out what her next move was going to be.
Jewel followed her in, grabbing Azalea’s arm roughly enough to get her attention. “No, what did I say?”
“It’s nothing,” she tried again.
“It’s not nothing. Stop this. We were doing so good on talking. What happened?”
“What do you want?” Azalea blurted out.
Jewel looked even more confused than she had a minute before. Azalea rinsed the mugs out, leaving hers in the sink while she refilled Jewel’s and added the flavored milk she preferred. She handed it back, but Jewel set it on the counter and ignored it. “I’m waiting.”
“Waiting for what?” Azalea asked.
“An explanation? I don’t know. What is going on?”
“Are you over Brady or not?”
“I am.”
“Are you sure?” Jewel stopped, her lips parted as if she was going to speak but then thought better of it. Azalea nodded. “Exactly. You need to figure that out because until you are over him, nothing in this town is going to be easy. It’s not big enough for you to avoid him forever. If he’s dating one of your kids’ parents, and actually decides to be involved unlike most jerks, then you’ll be seeing him a lot.”
“I already thought about that,” Jewel muttered.
“Good. You’re going to have to figure this out. You’re far too outgoing to live in this house like I live in mine.” That got a small smile from Jewel. “And what he said about me? It’s nothing I haven’t heard before.”
“What do you mean?” Jewel looked up at her curiously.
Azalea shrugged. “You think I’m ignorant of the rumors about me in this town? Because I’m not. I hear the wonderings and the questions as to why I’m a teacher but I’m not married and I don’t have kids. People always assume if you like kids enough to teach you must want a whole hoard of them.”
Jewel snorted. “Yeah, I’ve heard that before.”
“Right, and especially in a small conservative town here in the Bible belt, they want to know why I of all people don’t fit into their ideals of what life should look like for a middle-aged woman.” Azalea clenched her jaw. “You know why that is. They don’t. Though some may suspect, I have never once come out to anyone in this town aside from Eli.”
“How is that any life to live?”
Azalea sighed, the tension in her chest dropping away at Jewel’s soft question. “We grew up in different universes, J. Even fifteen years makes a huge difference here. I grew up in a time when it wasn’t accepted, when it wasn’t normal, when we didn’t throw parties about our sexuality. We hid it. We fell in love on the down low and we kept it that way. We didn’t wear it on our sleeves. You have to understand this.”