“Have you dated women?” Brianna raised an eyebrow in a skeptical look.
“Yes.” Jewel didn’t specify it as only one person because Brianna didn’t need to know that.
Brianna pursed her lips as they reached the car. “You probably just haven’t realized you’re gay yet.”
Jewel sighed and got into the car. She couldn’t win. No matter who she told, she got it from all sides. It had been the biggest reason why she hadn’t talked to Lea about her sexuality yet. She didn’t want it to become a thing, didn’t want to lose her best, and really only, friendship over it.
Her friendship with Lea was too precious. She couldn’t lose it under any circumstances. That was something Jewel knew first and foremost. It took until Brianna was back on the main road, the car chilled since they hadn’t been in it in hours, and they were still in the beginning of March.
“I had a good time tonight,” Jewel said, trying to pass the time before she could slip into her own freezing vehicle and drive the hour and a half home in the dark.
“I did, too,” Brianna answered. “We should do it again.”
Jewel wasn’t sure how she felt about that. It hadn’t been a complete disaster, but Jewel still wasn’t sure she wanted to date someone or be around someone who so readily dismissed her sexuality. That had been the root cause of her breakup with Brady, only she’d come out to him way too far into the relationship. It’d been why she’d done it differently this time, but that hadn’t gone much better.
They made it back to the restaurant. Jewel was about to get out of the car when Brianna gripped her hand and pulled her in. Their mouths touched. The kiss was brief, but it felt off. Jewel couldn’t explain it. Brianna gave the moment everything she had, but all Jewel could think about was Lea and what Lea would think about what she was doing.
Jewel threw herself into the kiss, trying to distract herself from the intruding thoughts. She wrapped her hand around the back of Brianna’s neck and kept her close, her tongue tracing the line of Brianna’s lips. Lea would taste like greasy pizza. Shaking the thought, Jewel sighed and leaned away.
“Thank you for tonight. It was fun.”
“It was.” Brianna gave her a brilliant smile. “I’ll send you a text or give you a call.”
“Sure. I’ll text when I get back.”
“Please do. It’s a long drive for you.”
“Yeah.” Jewel got out of the car and into the frigid air. She started her car and turned up the seat warmers as high as they would go. At least she could stay somewhat warm.
Brianna waited for her to reverse out of her spot to leave. Always in numbers—it made Jewel’s lips turn upward. That was something she missed about dating a woman, having someone who understood what it meant to be female in a male dominated society so viscerally.
As she pulled onto the highway, Jewel shifted in her seat and relaxed her grasp on the steering wheel. All in all, it hadn’t been a horrible date, but she was pretty sure she wouldn’t be going out with Brianna again. She needed more time to process her break up. The next time she went on a date with someone, she didn’t want to be questioning whether it was a rebound or not.
* * *
Jewel dragged herself out of bed at nine the next morning. She stumbled into the kitchen and made herself coffee, staring at the pot as it slowly percolated. Her drive home had been long, but she had decided a second date with Brianna was not in the cards for her. She’d even texted Brianna as much when she got home. She wasn’t going to waste either of their time if she wasn’t serious, not to mention, the whole “You just haven’t realized you’re gay yet” thing was a bit too much for her to handle.
The coffee was taking forever, and her brain begged for it to be finished already so she could have the first sip of the morning. She needed it to get going to do anything that resembled functional. She was just sipping the first drops of the dark roast when her front door opened. Jewel furrowed her brow as she squinted toward the door, suddenly realizing she didn’t have her glasses on.
“It’s just me,” Lea said, her voice calm.
Jewel grunted. “Aren’t you supposed to be at church?”
“Preacher called in sick early this morning, so short service today since there was no sermon.”
“Ah.” Jewel took another sip of her coffee. “Grab yourself some caffeine. I’m going to go find my eyeballs.”
Lea chuckled as Jewel stumbled around her and into the bedroom. She hit the lights, her coffee still in one hand as she desperately tried to remember where she’d put her glasses the night before when she got home. Her head ached from the lack of sleep over the past few weeks, and she was desperate for spring break to come right away. She needed it. She needed the time away from the routine of life to try and figure her own life out.
“J!”
“What?” Jewel called, rustling through the top of her dresser.
“Your glasses are out here.”
“Damn it.” Grabbing her coffee, Jewel went back into the living room where Lea stood with a smirk playing at her lips and glasses in hand. “Where were they?”
“Back of the couch.”