Sarah bit her lip hard. “Shouldn’t it be moving?”
“Yes,” Eli hissed. She took a fist and rubbed it along the underside of the calf hard with her knuckles. When that didn’t work, she pressed the palm of her hand to the chest and her other hand to the nose.
Seconds seemed to last minutes as Sarah waited for one sign from Eli that something was happening, something that should be happening. When Eli finally sat on her ass, her forearms propped on her knees, and her head hung down, Sarah knew what had happened. They were too late.
She didn’t hesitate. Sarah stepped behind Eli, pressing against Eli’s back and wrapped her arms around her in a hug. Her cheek rested on Eli’s hair as they both held still. Sarah tightened her grip and touched her lips to Eli’s soft hair, though she didn’t dare kiss her as much as she wanted to. She remained still, stoic, giving Eli all the comfort and peace she had in that moment.
Eli eventually wiped her face against her shoulder and stood up. Sarah stepped back, away from the mess that was before them. Eli checked over the cow while Sarah watched, amazed at all she’d done and all that had happened in the few short minutes since they’d been in the fields. When Eli was satisfied with the cow, she bent down over the calf and lifted it into her arms.
“Get the tailgate, would you?”
“Yeah,” Sarah whispered.
She walked just ahead of Eli, pulling down the tailgate in time for Eli to slip the calf into the bed of the truck. She closed it with a click. Eli bent over the side of the truck and kicked the tire hard with the toe of her boot.
“There was nothing you could have done,” Sarah started.
“I could have been here, but instead I was late.”
“Eli.” Sarah waited until Eli’s dark and tortured gaze turned up to her. “You can’t be everywhere at once.”
“I know. It’s just…I know.” Eli sighed. “I hate it.”
Nodding her understanding, Sarah brushed her hand over Eli’s arm and gave her elbow a squeeze before she rounded the truck. “Should we finish the rounds?”
“Yes.”
Sarah sat closer to Eli for the rest of the morning while they drove around the fields and even until they went back to the barn. She looked on as Eli took the tractor and dug a hole out back of the barn, and gnawed on her lip as Eli gently placed the calf in it. They stared over the covered hole until Sarah turned toward the house.
“I’m going to make some breakfast. Why don’t you clean up?”
Eli gave her an odd look, one she definitely couldn’t read. Sarah expected a rebuttal, expected Eli to say something about being ordered around on her own land, that she knew more than Sarah herself did. But she didn’t. Eli remained silent as she swallowed, as her gaze dragged slowly down and then back up Sarah’s body, sending chills up and down Sarah’s spine followed by an intense heat.
“I’ll do that. Then we can get started on morning chores.”
“Sounds like a good plan.” They didn’t move. Eli continued to stare at her, her dark gaze shocking in the rising sunlight. Once again, Sarah found herself entranced and caught in a singular look.
Eli raised an eyebrow, and her look of defiance turned to a moment of pity. “Go on up. I’ll be there in a minute.”
Sarah’s breath picked up as Eli reached out and brushed her dirty and sure fingers over her upper arm. She turned down to face the touch, and their eyes locked again. “Yeah. I’ll put on some more coffee.”
It took everything Sarah had to force her legs to move. As soon as she reached the top of the hill, she turned around to see Eli still standing over the makeshift grave. Her morning had been full already, and she knew the day would be long and morose. She could only hope that Eli would allow her to offer as much comfort as possible, and she knew without a doubt, she wasn’t going to let Eli waste her day alone.
Chapter 13
As soon asafternoon rolled around, Sarah could tell Eli was losing ground in her battle against sleep. She was doing everything at a snail’s pace, and she had to try several times just to get each thing going or finished, no matter what she tried to do.
Sarah had taken particular care to make sure Eli was staying on track and not struggling. They hadn’t talked about the calf since Eli had come back to the house for breakfast, and Sarah was loath to bring the subject up if she could avoid it. As soon as she had sandwiches made for lunch, she made Eli sit down and eat with her.
Eli hunched over the counter as she sat on the stool and took the world’s slowest bites. Sarah finished her drink and settled in to make sure Eli ate. No matter what she thought, she knew Eli was running herself ragged.
“Is there much more to do today?”
“No, thank God,” Eli said around another bite. “I think I’m going to sleep for the next week.”
Sarah smirked, the smile barely making it to her eyes. “I think that might be a good idea.”
Eli didn’t really answer as she moved her sandwich around her plate. Sarah had a hunch her thoughts had either turned to the calf or to Bridget. Which one it was, she wasn’t sure, but she wanted to somehow wipe the sad look from Eli’s face, make her frown turn back up into a smile, have her become the animated person she had meet just a week before.