“I worked with her for three years. Mira worked with her for five. Amanda has a thick skin, but she is very tender underneath. She hurts deeply but doesn’t let anyone see that.” David didn’t answer the question at all.
“That is true.” He realized the man knew Mandy well.
David only nodded. “I think she could have carried to term if she would have come to see me. Looking back on it now, I think her issue was stress. The entire time she was dealing with the miscarriages, she worked in a high-stress job, not that she ever lets it show. But her body knew. That’s why I missed it. But her new job has less stress and fewer adrenalin rushes. I would have put her on bed rest at twenty weeks, and I think she would have carried to term. Next time.”
“There won’t be a next time, not if she stays with me,” Hue told him. It was no secret Noah would be an only child if they stayed together.
“You don’t want more?”
Was he holding her back from having more kids? If she stayed with him, Noah was it, but if she married someone else, she could have a few more and have the family she always wanted. Was he being selfish for wanting her? For staying with her?
“I can’t. My ex and I went through a lot of tests.” He didn’t need to elaborate.
“Not with me,” David said, as if it mattered.
“No,” Hue said, because he would have remembered meeting this man before.
“What’s the issue?” David asked.
Shrugging, he said, “I don’t really know, just that it was me. She has a kid now.”
“Can I run some tests? So that you at least know? It’s nice to know the answers.” David wrote something in Noah’s chart.
“Not that it will do any good, but sure.” Hue had taken all the tests before.
“Let me be the judge of that,” David said. “I will have a nurse get you what you need.”
Before the hour was out, he had been given a cup, and it was done. At least David would tell him what the issue was since the doctors Krystal had seen never would. Maybe it would even be something they could work around. Except he was sure there wouldn’t be. Krystal would have used any work-around there was.
When he made it back to the NICU, the baby was awake, and the nurse helped him hold his son. Usually, he let Amanda spend as much time holding the baby as she could take, which was a lot of time. So, he enjoyed his time with the infant before he went to work for a few weeks. He would be back often, but he would miss the everyday of it here. But he knew he was going to love spending a few weeks alone with Amanda and his son. It was worth missing out now for then.
CHAPTER24
Sitting down across from Tess,Amanda looked over at the baby in her car seat. She was almost three months old now. Amanda could see Noah looking like all of her nieces and nephews. Including this one.
Tess caught her looking. “Do you feel better about babies now, or does she still bother you?”
“No, I am better now.” Amanda turned to her friend. “I am so sorry for how I was when she was born. I was awful—to you and to her. I could tell you that I tried hard to be better, but I failed miserably.”
“Mandy, I understand now. If you would have just told me. Not knowing made it feel like you weren’t happy for us. About her. I thought that I had lost one of my closest friends, all because I accidentally got pregnant.”
“I thought I had to be alone with my misery, my joy.” Amanda half smiled.
“Mandy, I am your friend, and I hope your family. I want you to know I am there for you for every joy and misery in your life. I am always there. But so is everyone from book club.”
“It’s just hard letting others in,” she admitted. “I have missed book club. I’ll be ready this weekend. I’ve been listening to the book. I’m hoping nobody in the NICU can hear what I’m listening to.” Amanda laughed. It was Richard Ramirez this week. Not a baby-approved topic at all.
“You have been forgiven. But it was not a unanimous vote,” Tess told her, but Amanda was sure Tess was a nay vote.
“I can’t wait to get home. I love David and Mira, but I’m tired of being a houseguest,” Amanda admitted.
“What’s your plan for when you get home? Stay uptown or move?” Tess asked. She lived out on her brother’s farm but had lived downtown for over a year.
“I don’t know. We haven’t talked about it. I will definitely stay where I am for a while and see what happens then.”
“Maybe Ruth has a two-bedroom available?” Tess said of their friend who owned most of the downtown buildings. Though she always seemed to keep them full somehow.
“I will have to talk to her. How is she doing?” Amanda had missed Ruth’s latest appointment and was feeling bad about it. She hoped that by the time she had her next, she would be back. But then she remembered she wouldn’t be working for another month or so.