Amanda had been overbooking Tuesday for weeks in hopes of keeping her mind off her own body. Today she was doing pretty good. Going from patient to patient, she was distracted enough to not think about the fact that she was starting her twenty-fifth week. She examined an unusual growth on a middle-aged woman’s back and didn’t even think about it. Well, maybe just a little bit.
Ruth had been in this morning, first thing, and this time Amanda was ready, steeled for what was coming. It was easier when she knew what was coming. As lunch passed without her being able to eat more than a few bites on the go, she checked her appointment book and realized Sally Strong had an appointment today. Sally was Hue’s mom. Sally was the mom of the man she had been sleeping with for over a week now.
Over a week.
In fact, in two days, it would be two weeks. Since they had started their relationship, she hadn’t been able to crawl into bed at 7:00 p.m. and sleep for almost twelve hours. She hadn’t been able to just mindlessly watch TV until she fell asleep. And she couldn’t dwell on the fact that she was still pregnant; that she still hadn’t lost her baby.
He didn’t seem to notice that she was getting bigger in the middle. Since the first time they had sex, she had gained three pounds, mostly in the middle. He hadn’t asked about it, and she hadn’t told him about it. She was just enjoying him while she had him.
Did she think Hue Strong would be with her forever? Of course not. He was just there, and it was fun for now, and she would enjoy it while he was there. And enjoy it she did. Sometimes right when she walked in the door after a long day, she almost ripped his clothes off as he made them supper, or in the morning when she turned her attention right to him the moment her eyes opened. And she could let him go to sleep without something to dream about.
Pregnancy sex was the best drug she had ever known—not that she had any experience with drugs. She was hot for him morning, noon, and night. She was almost willing to overlook how those same hormones made her happy and weepy and angry all at the same time.
Since the beginning, she had not wanted to tell anyone they were sleeping together. Knowing he wanted to tell everyone made her sadder, because all she wanted to was keep him to herself. She had decided that if she spilled her guts at this weekend’s book club, she would let him tell the world. If she didn’t feel comfortable telling her closest friends, she wasn’t ready to share with the world.
Running twenty minutes behind by the time she got to Sally’s appointment, she rushed out to the waiting area and called her name. Looking up, she saw that Hue was with her. But when the woman got up, she told Hue to wait for her. His face showed disappointment, but Amanda knew Sally didn’t notice.
Leading the woman away from the man who shared Amanda’s bed that morning, Amanda let her into an exam room. Sitting down at the computer, Amanda typed for a bit while they talked about the weather and if there was going to be a storm this week. Both decided no, just snow.
Turning her full attention to Sally, she asked, “What have you decided?”
“I will do it. You said last time you can schedule it in Fargo, so I can be closer to Jill.” Sally’s attention was on her hands and not on Amanda. They had talked about everything a month before, and today, Sally just had to decide. It was past time.
“Yes, I want to schedule it soon. It won’t get better, just worse.” Amanda wrote herself a note about what Sally’s decision was.
“Thank you, Mandy. I was really nervous about what was happening, and you made me feel better. Giving me time to think it over helped a lot.” Sally patted her arm.
“I just want you to feel better.” Amanda looked up at the woman who gave Hue his blue eyes and maybe red hair, but Sally’s had been gray for as long as Amanda could remember. “Have you talked to Hue?”
Somehow, she knew the woman hadn’t. Hue would have asked her about it, even before they had slept together. Not just because she was a nurse, but because she was his friend.
“No, I just can’t talk about it with him.” Her blue eyes looked at her shoes, still unable to meet hers.
“Do you want me to, without you there?” Amanda knew Hue was thinking the worst of his mother’s visits with her. All she wanted to do was put his mind at ease. It wasn’t as serious as Hue was making it out to be.
“No, men just don’t understand,” Sally stated, dismissing the entire idea.
“I think he will understand. Just because he is a man doesn’t mean that he wouldn’t understand that a hysterectomy is the answer to your pain,” Amanda said to the woman. It was a simple procedure done every day, but recovery would be long, and that was the big issue.
“I just don’t like him thinking of me that way,” Sally admitted.
“I think he knows where babies come from, and that sometimes, those parts need to come out.” Amanda pushed the woman a little to tell her son. Because Amanda knew she couldn’t without the patient’s permission, no matter how much she wanted to.
“Can you schedule it for after Christmas down there?”
“Yes, I will call you when I have a date and time,” Amanda assured the woman.
“Thank you, Mandy. I look forward to hearing from you.” Sally Strong got up and walked out of the office.
Amanda leaned back in her chair. Hue was going to be asking, and she couldn’t say anything. Again.
Her next appointment was her last for the day. It was after five already, and she was ready to drop. Just get through one more. Out in the waiting area, she called out the name of her last remaining appointment, but nobody got up. In fact, the room was empty, except Hue was sitting there still. His mother must have left without him.
Today he was wearing jeans and a brown sweater for the chilly day. He was wearing cowboy boots she hadn’t seen on him before. Catching her eye as he stood up, he walked over and said, “I don’t think they’re here.”
“I can see that.” She turned and put the file on the desk in the room. Her desk was in the lobby since she didn’t have a receptionist. There was no budget for one this year.
“Can I talk to you?” he asked, putting his hands on her shoulders and starting to rub them.