“No, nothing like that. It’s Mr. Sullivan.” Though she had stopped seeing him as just a teacher hours ago, around the time she fell asleep in his arms.
“How has Mr. Sullivan put that smile on your face?” Mia inquired.
“He’s going with me to see my mom.” Natalie put it out there. As she had told Sam, nobody knew she was adopted.
Mia’s mouth opened in a shocked expression, and she breathed out, “But she’s dead. Isn’t she?”
“Yes, Lara Beckett is dead. But I was adopted, and we’re going to see my birth mother. Just to see, not meet or anything,” Natalie explained, hating that she didn’t feel like she was betraying the mom who raised her.
“Why didn’t I know you were adopted?” Mia demanded as if the entire world knew but her. That she was the last to find out. The big secret kept from her.
“Because nobody knew. And I still don’t want anyone to know. Patrick and Lara are my parents,” Natalie stated firmly. Mia was the biggest gossip in town, so she had to be told when things were not for everyone to know.
“Okay. When are you going?” she asked.
“Today. I think I need to get away for a little bit. I can’t hole up at Sam’s for the week,” Natalie stated.
“I could. He’s quite sexy,” Mia purred.
“Mia, really?” Natalie laughed, hating how she hated Mia saying it.
“Oh, yeah. Sexy Sam,” Mia said.
“I should hook you guys up when we get back. He is really nice.” But the words stuck in her throat. She loved Mia and wanted her to be happy, but could she just hand over Sam to her? She had no claim to the man, but it seemed that her heart thought she did.
“No, thank you. Sexy Sam is going to be here forever. I’m getting out of here soon.” Mia had always said she was moving before she turned thirty, but that was next year, and she seemed to be wavering on her plan.
“Here I thought I could find you and get the girls together, and we could do something for a few days. But no, you have something planned already,” Mia said about the book club.
Natalie looked at her friend—that would have been amazing. A week of fun with her new friends. Maybe she should cancel the mom thing and do that.No, she thought,this is my birthday week, and I need to go. Doing anything else would just be chickening out.
“That would have been so much fun,” Natalie agreed.
“Nothing like meeting the woman who gave you life.” Mia smiled at her.
“I never wanted to meet her, then last week, bam! I wanted her at my wedding. Like she needed to be there for some reason. Just like Hazel, I needed her there for no reason, just a feeling.” Natalie tried to explain her feelings, but it didn’t sound right.
“I don’t know. Maybe it was someone telling you that marrying him wasn’t right for you. I mean, you have a ton of guardian angels. Your mom, Hanna and Henry, maybe Jamie. A lot of people up there are watching you. Just remember that when you get down and dirty with Sam. A lot of eyes watching,” Mia said with a wink and a laugh.
Natalie looked at Mia seriously, ignoring the last part. “Do you really think my mom wanted my birth mom there, and the twins wanted Hazel there? Maybe so they can see her? Do you think they’re watching out for Hazel too?”
“I hope so. Hazel needs more watching than you do.” Mia leaned back in her chair and looked at the sky, immediately closing her eyes against the bright light.
“That’s another thing that kept bothering me, my talk with Hazel last week. I wanted to ask her if she wanted to learn to do the podcasting stuff when I was gone. But she flipped out. She told me that we weren’t friends when we were young, that I was friends with Hanna but not with her. She was just the third wheel. Looking back on those days, she was right. I hung out with her only because she was Hanna’s sister. I wasn’t a good friend to her. It made me sad to think I was a mean person. I hate to see her hurting now, but maybe I hurt her before the accident too.” Natalie didn’t want to cry again, but she felt a tear leave her eye.
“It sounds like meeting up with Hazel again has dug up some emotions you thought you were over. Survivor’s guilt that wasn’t dealt with. I’ve heard both you and Hazel apologize for surviving the accident, except both of you are lucky to have survived. You two have to get past the emotions of surviving. You should think about that this week while you’re gone.”
“I have a lot to think about this week,” Natalie agreed as they heard the sliding door open behind them. Patrick stuck his head out in concern, and Mia excused herself and left, leaving the father and daughter alone.
Natalie had left him holding the bag yesterday, but Patrick didn’t seem bothered by it. He looked the same as always: a short, balding middle-aged man. But he was her dad, and she loved him. Over the years, she had tried to not disappoint him, but yesterday had to be bad.
“Sorry, Dad,” was all she could think to say as she watched him sit in the chair Mia had abandoned.
“Nothing to be sorry about, Natalie. It’s better that you realized it yesterday than marry a man you didn’t love. There’s nothing worse than marrying a man you don’t love. You made a lot of people talk, but then so did he after you left. It will all die down in a few days.”
“I thought I loved him. Now I’m sure I never did. I loved the idea of him, of someone like him,” she admitted, happy she wasn’t on her honeymoon when the realization hit. When it was too late.
“One day, you will meet someone, and you will know the difference. Love is a powerful thing.” Her dad leaned toward her, a sadness in his eyes.