They stared at each other with no words passing between them as they listened to the horses fidget at being kept still, waiting in the rain. They sounded unhappy and bad-tempered for the delay. Long moments passed and yet he was bereft of all words except the ones that seemed most important. Finally, he said, “Marry me, Sarah.”
She flinched, and more tears pooled in her lovely eyes. “I will not marry you.”
Shock darted through him. “Sarah, what the hell are you saying. You are with child.”
“I will not marry a man who does not love me,” she replied with soft dignity. “A man who had not ever thought to make me a respectable offer until I was found to be pregnant with his child. Write a bank draft that will cover the expenses of our child, so you can decently provide a living for him or her. That will beenough. Enough to know you have been generous and to salvage what remains of your honor. No one will expect you to marry me, society would consider it quite unnecessary. I will take ship to France and assume widowhood. Surely this is a more palatable option for a man, who has probably already found a more suitable wife in Miss Anna?”
“Sarah—”
“Miss Bellamy—” she said sharply.
And in those words, he heard the fear and the ache of her unfulfilled dreams.
“I am not asking you to marry me because you are with child.”
Her eyes flashed with fire. “You did not ask me yesterday in the conservatory to marry you!”
“But I had planned to ask you when I knocked on your door last night.”
Sarah inhaled sharply. “You did not mean to, I do not believe you, your grace,” she said softly.
“I did,” Robert murmured. “And I was determined to speak with you tonight.”
Her laugh was incredulous. “Only a few days ago, you were taking long walks with Miss Anna, and it was everyone’s expectation that you would propose to her soon.”
Her voice cracked, and Robert wanted to gut himself. He had been so stupid not to tell her sooner how much he loved her. He had been a total bastard to dither about making the decision. If she held the same feelings for him, it would have destroyed a part of him to see her walking out with another gentleman, knowing he might be courting her for marriage. She had lived with knowing how much she longed to be with him as his wife every day while he had been a fool in doubt and stupidly paying court to another. To another woman who would never love his daughters as he loved them and as Sarah loved them. He would make it up to her every damn day of their lives if she would have him. And he would be the luckiest man alive, if only he could persuade her that he meant what he said.
“I came back,” he said gruffly. “That night, I came back to the ball. I searched the house and gardens three times. I was distraught that I did not know your direction to seek you out.”
Her eyes went wide, and she clutched the edges of the squabs. “You came back?”
“Yes, because I had found in you someone I could fall in love with, someone I could build a new life with, and I ran back to the ball like the devil chased me, praying I had not missed you.”
“And you missed me,” she said softly.
“I missed you. After you left the conservatory, I went to the viscount and informed him I will no longer be courting his daughter and apologized to Miss Anna.”
Sarah gasped, staring at him with burning hope and something tender. “You did?”
“I did. I told her I did not think we would suit and that my heart belonged to another.” Robert leaned forward and framed her face with both hands, sliding his fingers into the softness of her hair. “I fell in love with you that night, Sarah. I have been a bacon-brained fool seeing you each day, living in agony of want for you but not reaching for you.”
“That does sound foolish,” she muttered crossly.
He smiled. “I want you, not just because you are carrying my child. I wantyou. I love you, Sarah. I cannot bear to live without you and if you do not love me enough, then my daughters love you too. Please say you will marry me.”
“Now that is not playing by the rules, Robert, I think that might be called, marking the cards. Do you really doubt that I love you too? So much that I fear my heart will burst with all it has inside, for you and for Charlotte and Caroline.”
She giggled raggedly and was swept into his arms with a glowing smile, laughing and hugging him. With a groan of relief, he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close to his chest. Leaning back, it was her turn to touch his jaw. “I love you, Robert, so very much,” she said flicking the rain from his hair and finding a fresh handkerchief to wipe the water from his face.
He kissed her softly on her lips.
“Oh, Robert, do you know what this means?” she said excitedly. “The book worked!”
“What book?”
“The one I found in the library.A Wallflower’s Guide to Becoming a Bride. I took its advice, and I am about to become a duchess.” She sucked in a wondering breath. “I need to tell everyone who thinks they are wallflowers or have no chance at a match.”
“Be careful you do not set them up for disappointment.”