His lips quirked in a small smile. “Handsome enough, Sarah?”
Her heart jolted with exquisite tension at the sensual murmur of her name. “Very,” she said teasingly though her heart pounded.Dear God, what am I doing?
“Will you come with me into the garden?”
“Yes, but first, what might I call you?”
“Robert.”
Sarah placed her gloved hands within his and allowed him to lead her deeper into the gardens. The alcove was rather dark and intimately secluded. Robert shrugged from his jacket and laid it out on the lush grass. With a sweep of his hand, he invited her to repose upon it. Her heart traipsing double time inside her chest, Sarah allowed him to assist her down. He doused the lantern, plunging them into darkness; the night revealed only a few sparking stars as clouds had obscured the half-moon and so little light reached them. The mature trees blocked most of the lights from the house, only a few pinpricks of light filtered through their leaves and branches. Beyond the trees, a faint glow of the few lights could be seen from more distant houses, but most were dark silhouettes in the night. Sarah tugged off her gloves and thought, as he settled beside her, that the heat emanating from him was oddly comforting. Sarah could not believe she was here, with this stranger, their intimacy so revealing of their shared loneliness. She had heard it in his voice but had not questioned him too deeply. It bothered her that after tonight she might never see him again, even though she knew it was best. She wanted a lover for a night, a memory that was beautiful, and this man…this man might be the gentleman to grant her this.
The notions of being so bold felt frightening, but it was also wonderfully freeing.I am a spinster of eight and twenty and a wallflower, she reminded herself.I will never marry or have children of my own, but I can have this. The awareness settled like heavy stones against her chest, paining her.
“How naughty do you want to be tonight, Sarah?” She tried to judge the expression on his face, but the light only allowed her to see him in shadow. She shivered with nerves but still managed to calmly ask, “Are there degrees to it?”
“You do not know?”
She had never been so conscious of any man before, and she breathed in his warm, masculine scent, savoring it. “I confess I have always been dutiful and responsible before this evening.”
“Ah.” A wealth of meaning echoed in that one word.
“Is that what brought you here tonight? You are tired of being dutiful.”
“I fear it is more profound than that.”
There was a small silence and then he said, “Will you tell me?”
“Do you truly wish to know?”
“Yes. I am enjoying our conversation.”
Sarah smiled, for she heard the curious surprise in his voice. She didn’t want to be captivated, but he was just so intriguing. Was it really so hard to share her dreams with those one knew well but yet she found it so easy with a stranger?
“I am retiring to the country soon. There I will remain for a number of years. I have no prospects of marriage or anything to look forward to other than the post I am to take up as a governess. I read a book and that book set fire to a desire that was always within me, but one I was afraid to explore. It goes against all that I have accepted as being my lot in life.”
“And what book was that?”
“A Wallflower’s Guide to Becoming a Bride. It is not published by any of the traditional publishers; I assume it was a private printing, and there is a bit of mystery surrounding it and its author. Only us ladies who have been called wallflowers seem to know about it.”
“This book does what? Encourages ladies in how to behave in order to snag a husband?”
She chuckled. “Yes, but I suspect it may have been written by a gentleman. There is some really good advice, and some of it is also wickedly salacious.”
“A courtesan or a widow of experience could also be the author,” he offered.
“That is very true.”
“So you are husband hunting?”
“No. I know that has passed me by.”
“Good God, never say you are decrepit behind the mask. I am beginning to think I should see your features too. All your teeth, Sarah?”
She laughed, loud and unfettered.
“Your laugh is lovely,” he said gruffly, “and so are your teeth.”
Her heart warmed and her throat ached.Who was this man really?“I wanted one moment, a memory for myself. A moment of passion, of bliss, of just living, to experience all the things I have always wondered about and anticipated experiencing in marriage. I want that…”