That’swhat the duke had in mind for her. She ought to have punched him outright on the dance floor. A shocking thing indeed. It would ensure her marriage prospects were at an end. If her family’s state was not so dire, she might have done.
Indeed! She should’ve bashed him one for such male bumbleheadedness!
How dare he insinuate such a thing? Was she really only good enough for an old man? Was that all? Was that to be her life, a nursemaid? It seemed that’s truly what he thought.
She understood, he thought she might find freedom with such a husband. But…
Tears stung her eyes.
There was something particularly awful about it because he was so beautiful and so perfect. He could have anyone he wanted. The idea that she should be relegated to such sidelines, it ached. It ached because she…well, she marveled at him. He was a man who could have whatever he pleased, and do what he pleased, and rule the world as he pleased. And here she was, in her little life, with nothing.
Oh, she wasn’t as badly off as many people. She was quite lucky, and she knew it. She knew she was being small-minded, but all of her dreams were dying, and it hurt. It hurt so very much indeed.
She gripped the stone balustrade overlooking the beautifully groomed park at the back of the Marlborough townhouse gardens. She could hear giggles coming from the shrubbery at some distance.
She scowled.
No doubt there were several couples out in that wild expanse of mazes and topiary doing things that she could not even imagine. She could imagine a bit, of course, for she was well read. She had read some fairly shocking material, which her mother need not know about.
But the truth of the matter was she was stuck, stuck in a life she had not chosen and one that would remain unvaried and rather dull if she did not do something, and soon. She’d been born to affluence, and privilege, and a position. She’d been certain that she would have her aunt’s pension and a bit of freedom.
All of that was gone, made worse now by the fact the very man that she had gone to castigate had presented her with a list of men who truly did make it clear the sort of marriage she could expect.
She could not decide why that was so particularly appalling, that he had not even deemed her worthy of a spouse who was interesting, capable, handsome.
Surely, he must have been so determined to find her freedom? That had to be it. Even so, her spirits sank.
She didn’t need a handsome man, but nor did she wish one who was old enough to be her grandfather. She was but twenty. The idea that she might marry a man four times her age was not shocking to her. It happened all the time. But she had never thought it would befallherself, for she had a loving family. Her mother loved her. Her brother loved her. So why was this to be her fate?
As she stared out into the expanse of the gardens, wishing she could look up and see stars yet knowing that she could not, for London’s smoky sky covered them up, she wondered how this had come to pass.
How had her father made such poor decisions that had left them all in such a position?
Her mother put on a brave face every day, but Jack saw the tears in her eyes that she dashed away quickly when anyone caught her looking a little bit amiss.
Sometimes she wished her mother would yell and scream and curse her father. Anger would be preferable to this interminable pretense of everything being perfectly normal.
Nothing was normal.
Normal was a distant memory.
She blew out a long sigh, unable to muster up hate for her father, even if she was angry. He hadn’t been cruel or unkind or callous. He had simply wished to give them the sort of grand life that other lords gave their families. He had made a very bad decision indeed, no more shocking than many other men made. Many scandals filled the pages every year of gentlemen who lost fortunes or gambled them away. At least her father had not hurt anyone else.
Just them.
“Lady Jacqueline.” The terse voice of the Viscount Drexel came from behind her, and she cringed. She knew that voice of old.
The viscount was a dogged, determined fellow. Perhaps his years in the military did that to him. He had been a second son and had served on the continent, but the early death of his elder brother had sent the title to him.
Now he was in his forties and handsome, but there was something cruel about his face, something hard, something that she didn’t like.
She had the strangest feeling that he viewed her as a dog to be schooled. It was also an appalling state of affairs.
Bracing herself for unpleasantness, she turned to the viscount and cocked her head to the side. “Forgive me, my lord, but we should not be alone on the terrace.”
A tight smile turned his lips and a spark of anticipation glinted in his eyes before he tsked. “Then you should not have come out here by yourself, my dear. Unless you are wishing for company, of course.”
Good Lord, the state of society was such a horrific thing that a lady could not even have a moment to herself to collect her thoughts. It was most frustrating. But it was the way things were.