“Because you bring so much happiness, my love, and it makesyouhappy. As happy as one of our family can be. But as I said, Lady Jacqueline is different.” His mother gave a firm nod and snapped her fan open. “I think you should avoid her entirely and leave her to her own fate.”
“And if that fate is complete ruination for the family?” he drawled “They have no funds, Mother.”
“You have such a good heart, James,” she said, reaching up and touching his cheek. “I worry that you are about to get involved in something that you cannot control. But sometimes our hearts and passions cannot be ruled by our heads.”
“I have always been a pillar of control,” he informed her, surprised by her concern, but happy to assure her that all was well. “I feel nothing for Lady Jacqueline except sympathy for her situation.”
“Of course, my dear.” She drew her hand back then squeezed his hand in a surprisingly gentle gesture. “Forgive me for interfering. You must do as you see fit. I am but a silly woman.”
He grew still.
That was not a good sign. His mother’s quick acquiescence and her comments about herself?
His mother was nothing like a silly woman.
His mother was one of the most intelligent and well-educated women he knew. He held her hand for a moment and finally allowed, “I shall take your warning and be more careful. I will not pursue her at present, but I will also still try to find her a husband. I have quite a good list in mind.”
“Have you?” she asked, her eyes rounding.
“Indeed.” He decided to try his list with her. “Lord Tewkesbury, Lord Oden—”
His mother let out a horrified laugh. “Dear boy, don’t marry her to an old man! If you do that, he’ll never die.”
He gaped down at his mother. “Is there a collective understanding of old men that women seem to have that I do not?” he queried.
She shook her head. “For someone who has such an aptitude for understanding people, my dear, in this particular aspect, I feel like you may have dropped the veritable ball.”
He frowned. “Never. This is not a ball that I think I’m capable of dropping.”
With that, he bent down and kissed her cheek.
She smiled at him, then tapped her fan on his arm. “Now, my dear, I have an appointment with Lord Bridge.”
“Mother,” he bit out. “I’m happy if you’re happy, butmustyou tell me?”
Her brows rose in astonishment. “Why should I keep secrets from my son?”
He groaned, turned, and strode off. He could have sworn he heard her gentle chortle.
He truly was glad that his mother had found happiness after the death of his father. He just wished that she did not necessarily include him in all the details of said happiness, because sometimes there were a few too many.
They’d both struggled to overcome the misery of the past. And sometimes, still…
No. He would not think how entirely harrowing his childhood had been. He would not allow himself to slip back to those moments as he had played by himself, listening to the rows between his mother and father as they’d screamed at each other.
How his father had descended into a fate James would wish on no one. Nor would he wish the fate of his mother or himself upon anyone. Which, of course, was why he wouldn’t wed. Whatever passion or brokenness there was in his blood would end with him.
If he allowed himself, he could hear the crash as glass broke and mirrors… As flesh cracked against flesh.No.
He would not think of how he had decided that the only thing for it was to run away to Eton. But even so, the memory slipped back…
He had not told his parents of his departure. They’d been away at a house party, and his tutor had been visiting his family. He’d packed up a trunk, gotten into the coach, and headed off across the country.
Once he’d arrived at the ancient institution, he’d informed the headmaster that he was going to go to school and nothing could stop him. And nothing had.
After all, the headmaster, sensing his distress, had agreed that the future Duke of Stone needed an excellent education.
As it had turned out, his parents preferred him to be away.