I threw my bookbag at my bed and missed. I overshot and it sailed through the air over the bed and hit the wall with a loud thud. Again, there wasn’t anything in there to break so I didn’t care.
I walked into my closet and started sliding around coat hangers. My hands were shaking. I stopped sliding around the hangers and stared at my hands. This day wasn’t even half way over and already it had been too much. Too much had happened. Too much to deal with. Too much to handle. My brain couldn’t comprehend it all. Not on top of everything else and with my lack of sleep last night. I was utterly exhausted and I think I might have been in shock a little bit. Seeing all that blood come out of people today had part of my poor brain trying to shut down on me.
This town sucked and the people in it weren’t much better. My first week of school had been a disaster of epic proportions. My mother had done what she always did and she’d hurt me. I’d likely fallen in love with Mr. Cole who’d shown me a great deal of kindness and we weren’t even going to get into the Range Rover. The only friends I had made were intense and they were hiding things from me. Tyson promised me answers tonight. Did I want answers? I thought I did, now I wasn’t too sure I could handle any more.
I thought about what happened today during lunch and the fact the twins and Tyson had thought Quinton had been responsible in some way. Had he somehow poisoned them with something? Did I really want to spend the night under the same roof as a man whose family thought capable of harming others in such a way? Had he really been responsible for today? And, if so, how? And, would I really care if he had? Chucky had humiliated me and treated me like garbage. Yeah, he’d since changed his tune and now claimed to want to date me but it seemed like a trick. Did he really deserve my compassion now? I didn’t think so and I did not like what that said about me at all.
I didn’t want to be a bad person no matter what. It hit too close to home for comfort. My mother being a terrible person and all, I knew exactly what it meant to not be good. If I ended up like her I would hate myself.
Thoughts to examine later. But for now… What to pack.
After standing in my closet and staring at my options for the better part of fifteen minutes I finally said screw it and made my selections. It was just for one night, I could do this.
I grabbed an overnight bag from the floor. It was cute, girly and big. It also reminded me of a beach bag. The bag was wide with thick, short straps and covered in bright white and pink horizontal stripes. I sat it on the bed and dumped my clothes beside it.
I folded them up neatly and placed them in the bag. Black bra with black lacy matching panties. They were cute and I looked damn good in them if I did say so myself. I had looked for something less pleasing to the eye but found I didn’t have any ugly under things. Who knew. I decided I didn’t care. What did it matter when I wasn’t planning on anyone else seeing them? It didn’t. So in the bag they went. Next I packed black cotton shorts and a black tank top with thin straps and a skull and cross bones covered in glittering sparkles across the chest. My outfit for tomorrow. I stuffed that in the bag. I’d found I didn’t have ugly pajamas either. I packed a thin tank top with matching drawstring shorts to sleep in. They were blood red and covered in little black hearts. They were also super cute. I packed a different pair of flip flops for tomorrow, black with a very pretty red and black Gerber daisy where the straps met. They too were girly. Shit. Last, I packed a red pullover hoody. It had large fangs on the front and big, white words scrolled under the fangs that read: Eat Me. They were vampire fangs and I adored that hoody. My mother hated it.
I went to the bathroom next for my toiletries. I grabbed my bright yellow toothbrush, hairbrush in the same color, deodorant a few hair ties, thick headbands in three different colors; black, red and white. I thought about anything else I might want and shrugged. It’s not like I was going to be gone for long or never coming back. If I forgot something I could always run back next door and grab it. I pulled a cute little clear bag with a bright yellow zipper out of the closet and stuffed it all inside. I zipped it up and went back into the bedroom where I tossed it inside my bag. I thought about packing makeup but shrugged it off. I didn’t need makeup for this trip.
I grabbed my phone charger from where it was plugged into an outlet in the wall near the window seat and tossed it into the bag as well.
I looked around my room and asked myself if I needed anything else. Socks. I needed a pair of socks. I didn’t want to walk around their house in my flip flops
all day and I didn’t like to walk around bare foot because my feet tended to freeze. I needed socks. I went to my dresser and pulled open the top drawer. I found a pair of bright, fuzzy yellow socks. Perfect. I tossed those into my bag.
I had everything I thought I needed except for my phone. I dug my phone out of my backpack and stuffed it into the bag too.
I looked around my room one last time. Looking for something, anything. I was stalling for time.
I couldn’t do this but I had to do it. My mind was at war with itself. I was nervous and didn’t want to go over there. But I didn’t want to be alone more than I didn’t want to go next door and I really, really wanted answers.
With those thoughts on my mind I grabbed my overnight bag and headed towards the stairs.
I could do this.
Probably.
Maybe.
Shit.
Chapter Eighteen
For the second time today I found myself knocking on this door. If Quinton answered the door half naked with his pierced nipples winking at me again I was going to turn right back around and lock myself in my house until it was time for school on Monday.
The door opened and (thankfully) Addison stood there fully clothed in the black Henley and dark blue jeans he’d worn to school. He’d lost the black boots and if he’d worn socks earlier he’d lost those as well.
“I was starting to think you’d changed your mind and weren’t coming over after all. Not that I would blame you, this place is a mad house because Quinton’s turning into a tyrant and-”
“Twin,” Abel stepped up behind his brother and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Let her in. She doesn’t need to hear about Quinton right now. There will be time for that mess later.”
“Right, sorry.” Addison moved out of the doorway as he raked his hands through his white blonde hair. “Sorry, Ariel, didn’t mean to be rude. I’m a little on edge.”
“We’re all a little on edge, twin,” Abel said as he took my bag from off my shoulder, sliding it down my arm. “No harm done. Come on, pretty girl, let’s drop your bag off upstairs and get you settled in.”
He took my hand in his and pulled me inside. I smiled at him because he looked cute with my giant pink and white striped bag over his shoulder, it looked ridiculous on him. Or maybe he’d just look good in pink. I bet he’d make a pretty drag queen.
“We should put her stuff in our room.” Addison told his brother as Abel pulled me towards the stairs.