Closing my eyes, I pull the blanket all the way up to my chin. I didn’t realize how exhausted I was until I decided to lay down. My eyes are heavy, and my mind is on the verge of sleep. I don’t even try to move or open my eyes when I hear Luke enter the room, neither do I complain when he picks me up from the unforgiving hardwood floor and puts me in the bed, my ears catch on a murmur that sounds like why do you have to be so difficult? I want to answer but I just don’t have it in me.
Once in bed, I fall asleep almost immediately, too tired to care about being stubborn, or what Luke thinks, instead I let sleep drag me down into oblivion.
I open my eyes hours later, and immediately I know why I didn’t feel good earlier. My stomach ache turned into full-on cramping, and my muscle soreness turned into my whole body hurting. Undoubtedly I’m on my pesky period.
On top of all that, a headache is forming and all I want to do is go back to sleep, but I know that I need to take some medicine before I do.
“Luke?” I whisper into the dark night. “Luke…”
“Yeah, what’s wrong?” Even with his voice so sleepy sounding, I can hear the slight worry lacing it. The bed moves and his hand lands on my shoulder.
“I need a handful of Motrin, a heating pad, and some tampons,” I tell him without ever opening my eyes.
“Oh… hold on,” he murmurs and gets up from the bed. I listen to the bathroom door open, and the light being switched on, followed by some rummaging in a cabinet. He comes back a minute late. “Here is some Motrin.”
I finally open my eyes and find him standing at the edge of the bed, holding a glass of water and a bottle of Motrin. I take the glass and watch him open the bottle to get three pills out to hand to me. I take all of them and wash it down with half the glass of water.
“Tampons are on the back of the toilet. I don’t have a heating pad, but I can get one in the morning.”
“Thanks,” I mumble as I get up to go to the bathroom, where I find tampons right where he said they would be. I don’t know why I’m so surprised by this, clearly, he thought about everything else. Of course, he wouldn’t forget about a trivial thing like my period.
When I crawl back into bed, Luke is already there. He lifts the blanket for me to scoot closer, but I turn my back to him instead, leaving a good amount of space between us. With a loud sigh, he scoots closer, until his chest is pressed up against my back. His arm snakes around me and his large hand comes to rest on my lower abdomen. I’m about to complain and push him away, but then I realize how good his warm body feels on my back and the weight of his hand on my belly.
As his warmth seeps into me, there is a significant relief of pain. The tension in my muscles loosening up at a fast pace. This feels nice, amazing even. For the first time since Luke entered my life again, I’m actually thankful for him. I’ve grown so accustomed to being alone, that I’ve almost forgotten what it’s like to have someone taking care of you.
Normally I suffer through my period pain; going to work, even when all I want to do is lay in bed. The thought of not having to get up in the morning and instead just relax is beyond comforting, it’s a relief.
Before I know it, I’m drifting off to sleep again, but this time I cuddle into Luke’s body instead of cringing away. I take comfort in his touch and let him soothe me instead of pushing him away. I’m not sure if I’m doing the right thing here or if I’m making a terrible mistake by giving in to him, all I know is that for once in my life I finally feel cared for, cherished.
10
Luke
I wake up about twenty minutes before Grace does and I spend it holding her, listening to her even breathing, and watching her chest rise and fall. Her nose scrunches up, and forehead wrinkles with anguish. She seems to burrow deeper into my side, and I relish in the feeling of having her in my arms without having to force her to be there. When her breathing changes and she stirs in my hold, I’m certain, she’s about to pull away, but instead, she shocks me when her mouth opens, a question rolling off her tongue.
“Will you rub my back?” she whispers.